Lupin's Life
by bandeall
Summary: The dangerous, crazy, loved, positively brilliant life of Remus J. Lupin.
1. What a strange dream

"Goodnight, Remus." His mother kissed him on the forehead and left his room. Remus pulled his covers up to his chin and laid his head down upon the pillow. Holding his teddy bear close to his chest, he fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

**_What a strange dream . . . He hadn't remembered ever having a dream quite like this ever before . . . _**

_ The dream-wolf had pounced onto his bed._

_ Remus buried his head deeper into the pillow, waiting to fall into dreams once more. That dream had been so real . . . It was like he could feel the weight on top of his legs._

_His leg hurt. His leg burned! It was on fire!_

_"Mummy! Daddy!" Remus screamed, as the dream-wolf made its way closer to his head._

_His mother's frightened face appeared in his doorframe, his father close behind. His mother shrieked, pushing his father to the front. Wand drawn, he sent a burst of red light towards the strange wolf. The wolf was thrown back into Remus's bookshelf, subduing it. His mother ran forward, gathering him up in her arms and running out of the bedroom. He screamed when she bumped his leg, sending flames of pain rushing up his body, turning his vision red. He could hear his father shouting, and bright lights streaming out from his bedroom._

_His mother laid him down on the sitting room floor. Furiously ripping back his pyjama pants, she looked down at the wound. Remus felt sick looking at it. He stifled a sob, telling himself that he was a big boy now, and that he mustn't cry. His mother clapped one hand over her mouth and nose, and ran to the kitchen. She came back holding a large brown bottle of funny-smelling liquid and a large roll of bandages. She poured the entire bottle over the profusely bleeding wound. It did nothing to help. She unrolled the gauze and tightly wrapped it three times around the gash. Sitting back on her heels, she wiped her forehead. Remus winced in pain, and that slight movement made fresh blood spot through the bandages. Remus felt light-headed. The color drained from Hope Lupin's face._

_"LYALL! Lyall, help me! Help me! Please!" She shouted in a strangled voice. _

_There was a crash, then an almighty roar. Lyall Lupin came sprinting down the narrow hallway, stopping dead when he saw his wife and son. He rushed to their side, pulling out his wand as he went. Pointing his wand at the palm-sized wound, he muttered, "Episkey!" Remus gave an involuntary shutter. The pain made his sight go hazy, and the world seemed muted. "Episkey! Episkey! Episkey!" His father bellowed at his leg._

_His father raised his wand. "Accio Dittany!"_

_There was a thud, and then a small glass vile came shooting into the room. Remus could vaguely remember being told to never, ever touch that vile unless Mummy or Daddy told him too. Lyall uncorked the vile, and, after taking a steadying breath, poured a few drops of liquid into the deep wound. Remus's flesh smoked as the medicine seeped through it. His skin turned from an angry red into a sensitive pink. His mother breathed a sigh of relief, but his father did not._

_"We'll need to take him to St. Mungo's. This bite will not heal, no matter what we do. The healers might know what to do." He said quietly._

_"Will they let me in? Are Muggles like me allowed?" His mother asked._

_Remus's father didn't respond. _

_Lyall reached over his wife and picked up Remus gently. He got to his feet, and walked quickly over to the fireplace. Tucking Remus's limbs close to his frail body, he ducked his head and stood in the fireplace. His wife took a small handful of Floo powder from the dish on the mantel, and joined him inside the fireplace._

_"St. Mungo's!" She shouted, tossing the powder onto the grate. _

_Their tiny sitting room disappeared in green flames._

* * *

**_What a strange dream . . ._**

_His pyjamas were all wet. They were covered in a dark, sticky liquid. He wondered briefly why Mummy hadn't changed them yet._

**_What a strange dream . . ._**

_The world spun. He turned his head and opened his eyes wide enough to see a frightened looking witch standing behind a desk, screaming for help. What was this place? A tall man in strange white robes approached his father, holding out his arms and gesturing. Remus felt himself being moved, and suddenly, he had left his father's warm arms, and was now in cold, sterile ones. The owner of these arms spun on his heel and marched away with Remus in his arms. _

**_What a strange dream . . ._**

_Where was he? Remus felt awfully light-headed. There were strange tubes attached to every limb, with fluid being pumped back into his body. He looked up to see his parent's frightened faces. Why was Mummy's face tear streaked? Why was Daddy crying? Why did these strange people look worried? And, why did he hear Daddy yelling, "Please! Can't you save him? He's not even five years old! Please!"_

**_What a strange dream . . ._**

* * *

When Remus finally regained full consciousness, he awoke to see his mother and father's anxious faces. When he blinked, his mother yelled and rushed forward to hug him. His father hung back, his puffy eyes blinking fast. His mother pulled away, taking a deep breath and sitting back down.

Remus peered down at himself. He was in hospital gowns, with stark white covers pinning him down to the bed. Remus had never been to a hospital before. A healer approached his bedside.

"Remus? How do you feel?" She asked kindly.

Remus shifted underneath the covers, crying out in pain when he tried to move his leg. There were thick bandages wrapped tightly around his leg, binding it. The healer turned to his parents.

"In fifteen minutes, please have him take his medication." She pointed to a bottle full of unpleasant looking, bubbling green fluid. She left the ward.

Remus looked around. He had never been in this place before.

"Mummy? Where am I? What happened?" A single tear ran down his mother's face.

"Remus, sweetheart, you where in an accident. You were very, very brave. But, because of this accident, something is going to happen to you. You must continue to be brave."

Remus desperately wanted his teddy bear.

"Daddy, what is going to happen to me?" He asked in a quivering voice.

The color drained from his father's face.

"You- you will turn into a creature." His father said quietly. Lyall's wife shot him a warning glance. He, almost unfathomably, shook his head. "Mummy and I will have go away for a little bit, when this happens."

Remus was confused. Why would Mummy and Daddy have to leave?

"Why do you have to leave?" He said, voicing his concerns, forgetting about the mysterious 'creature' that he would become.

"Because, Remus, during that time, you could accidentally hurt Mummy or Daddy, and we wouldn't want that, would we?"

Remus shook his head. He couldn't imagine a scene where he would **_want _**to hurt Mummy or Daddy. He loved them.

"Mummy, what will I turn into?"

"A-a werewolf." His mother buried her face into her hands.

Remus's world spun. The oxygen seemed to have been stolen right out of his lungs. He had heard what his father said about those things. They were dirty. They were evil. They were monsters. At the Ministry, Remus knew that his father worked to find them, to report them, so the Ministry would know about all of them. Remus's father had told him about them before. Remus had been disgusted by the thought of something so horrible. His four-year old brain quickly came to a decision.

He was the monster now.

"Daddy, I'm so sorry!" Remus called out. He thought he had let down his father; the person he looked up to most was now disappointed in him.

His father looked up revulsion in his eyes.

"It was my fault. I provoked one of them, and they came after you. This is all my fault." Remus's father buried his face into his hands.

"Lyall, this is not your fault. This is no one's fault. I- I'm sure that the animal had no idea what he was doing." Remus's mother said quietly. Remus's father shook his head violently.

Remus flung himself backwards onto his pillow. His eyes swam with tears. What ever was he going to do?

The little family sat in silence for many minutes. Remus was thinking of his options. Would he run away? He must.

The healer returned. Frowning at the full bottle of medicine, she conjured up a glass and poured the frothy liquid in, then held it out to him. He took it, and took a small sniff. It smelled horrible.

"What is that?" His mother whispered to the nurse.

"Blood replenishing potion." She replied. Turning, she indicated for him to drink.

He took a sip. It tasted like sour milk. Gagging, he coughed down the rest of the potion. Once he had swallowed every last drop, he laid back onto his pillow under the healer's watchful gaze.

Remus stayed at St. Mungo's for another week. He was sent home with a large bottle of the disgusting potion, and instructions to drink a glass every night for a month. Each of the healers had given him a quick hug before he left. They had all grown quite fond of the clever little boy.

* * *

It was bedtime when they finally arrived home. Remus avoided his room until the very last moment. When his mother came to tuck him in, she found him, in his pyjamas, sitting outside the doorway, waiting for her.

"I'm scared." He said. He could remember the burning pain from that night **_very_** clearly.

He took his mother's hand, and, together, they entered his room. His eyes immediately went to his window. The glass was smashed out, and the screen was ripped.

"Repairo."

They spun around to see Lyall standing in the doorway, his wand pointed at the window.

With the window now repaired, Remus felt much safer. He slid underneath his covers, and looked up at his parents. They gave him kind smiles.

"You'll be fine, Remus. Nothing will hurt you." His mother said gently.

Lyall and Hope both kissed him on the forehead, and, with a backwards glance, turned off his light. Remus closed his eyes tightly, gripping his teddy bear for dear life. Remus drifted off to sleep.

He was awoken many hours later by a long and low howl. Panic rose in his chest. His lights flipped on, but he had not touched them. Not bothered by this magic, he looked frantically around his bedroom. There was nothing. He was safe.

Shaken by this, he got out of bed, clutching his bear in one hand, and a blanket in the other. He padded down the hall towards his parent's bedroom, and upon seeing their sleeping forms, felt much better. He climbed onto their bed, and curled up into a ball at their feet. He fell asleep quickly and quietly.

Lyall Lupin nudged his wife sleepily. Pointing silently at their sleeping son, he smiled gently. Remus was fast asleep, with a peaceful expression on his face. Hope smiled, knowing that for now, Remus was safe.

* * *

**These are Remus J. Lupin's most important memories throughout his life.**

**The next chapter will be up in a 2-3 days! **

**Please leave a review with any comments/requests for future chapters. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, nor any of its characters or places. Everything belongs to J.K. Rowling. **

**xx**

**bandeall**


	2. Transformation

"Remus, up! Come on, son, time to get up." Remus's father shook him awake.

Remus nodded sleepily, turning his back on his father, wanting nothing more than to fall back asleep. His father flipped on the light as he left the room, blinding Remus momentarily. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the light, but he knew that he would not fall asleep. Groaning, he dragged himself out of bed and began to get dressed.

Remus pulled on his nicest pair of pants and a polo shirt. He felt lanky and awkward in the stiff, unused clothing, but he knew that he must look presentable today. He and his parents would be attending a meeting with the head of the Werewolf Regulation Committee today. They would be recording his body measurements for the regulation; they did this when someone was bit. After the meeting, one wizard would be returning home with them, to see his behavior at home.

Remus thought that this was all very strange. He had always been a good boy, and he didn't understand why the Ministry wouldn't take his word for it. His parents said that he was very responsible and clever for a five-year old, and he believed them.

The smell of breakfast was wafting from the kitchen. Walking into the kitchen, Remus was surprised to see that his mother had cooked him his favorite breakfast, and was looking quite nice in a plum robes. Hearing footsteps coming down the hall, he turned to see his father in dress robes, a rare occurrence.

His mother walked up behind Remus with a comb; she was attempting to fix his bed-head. Wiggling out of her grasp, he sat down at the table and began attacking a pastry. He had felt particularly hungry in the last couple of days, and had eaten each meal with gusto, which he usually did not.

He had noticed other symptoms over the last few days, all of which bothered him. He had got bad headaches; so much that he would have to lie down in the afternoons. It felt like he was always hungry, and he had been practically stuffing himself with food at every chance he got. His arms and legs ached like they had been stretched far past their limit. He was very tired; today, he had slept until late morning, something unheard of for him. He was just considering this when his mother brought up something that he had not yet thought of.

"Remus, darling, don't forget to grab a blanket from the cupboard tonight."

Remus looked up at his mother, confused.

"Why?"

Hope Lupin's face tightened, and she threw an anxious glance at her husband.

"Honey, don't you remember? Tonight is the night that Daddy and I have to go away. You'll be downstairs, and Daddy and I will be upstairs with the Committee member."

Remus was filled with dread. His mother had taken down all the calendars in the house, insisting that he, Remus, did not need to be reminded of the coming transformations. He felt sick rising in his throat. At his monthly check-up with the healer, she had briefly told him the basics of what would happen. Remus pushed his food away from him.

His mother gave him a sad glance. He stared at his morning bun. She shrieked.

"Remus, Lyall, get in the fireplace! We're late! We're supposed to be there in five minutes!"

Lyall Lupin grabbed Remus and steered him towards the fireplace, his wife right behind him. She grabbed a handful of Floo powder, and, once they were all securely in the fireplace, threw the dust at the grate and shouted, "Ministry of Magic!"

The world spun, and Remus coughed as he inhaled ash. His father thumped him on the back, but held him close so he wouldn't fall out of the wrong fireplace.

The spinning stopped, and the Ministry of Magic came into view. Lyall reached down and grabbed Remus's hand, while Hope took his other. Together, they led him up to the fourth floor, right up to a door that read:

**WEREWOLF REGULATION ****COMMITTEE**

Remus's mother swallowed loudly, and then, with a shaking hand, knocked once. His father tapped his toe nervously. His mother squeezed his hand over and over, until his hand ached.

Remus examined the handsome brass knocker. It was a large, scary-looking wolf, with its head tilted back in a feral snarl. Remus shuddered. Is that what he would look like in just a few short hours?

The door swung open, and, standing in the door frame, was a grumpy looking man with a wooden leg. He was wearing a large overcoat, and his shoulder-length hair was blonde, stringy, and unkempt.

"Alastor," he said in one great puff of breath, shaking Remus's father's hand.

"Moody," he nodded at Remus's mother.

Moody looked down at Remus, who was at waist level with him. Remus had his head fully slanted back, and he was staring up at the man.

"And, you are?" Moody said, bending down one knee so he was eye-level with Remus.

"Remus. Sir, is that thing real?" His parents looked astonished. He had never been this blunt with strangers before.

Remus hadn't been able to keep his curiosity in. He had just noticed that this strange man had one real eye, and one bright blue orb that was spinning sickeningly around in its metal socket.

The man chuckled, but said, "No. But it can see x-ray."

Remus was taken aback. His parents had never let him meet anyone like this ever before.

"Well, don't just stand there, look alive. Consistent vigilance!" He said in a hoarse voice. He held open the door, inviting them in.

His mother strode ahead, but Remus and his father walked slowly behind her.

They were in a large, circular room with one gigantic window, which looked out on Gringotts and Diagon Alley.

Moody sat behind a large mahogany desk, moving aside sizable stacks of paper.

His parents sat in two high-backed chairs, both of which were meant for someone much taller, so only their toes touched the ground. Lyall picked Remus up, and sat him on his lap. Moody pulled a long, indigo quill and a piece of parchment out of a desk drawer. Positioning the quill directly over the paper, Moody gave them strict instructions.

"Let's begin."

Remus's mother sat on the very edge of her seat, eager to start. She had never been inside the wizarding world before.

"Name?" Moody said in a rough voice.

"Remus John Lupin." Hope squeaked out, followed by the sound of a quill scratching parchment.

"Age?"

"He's five."

"Birthday?" Moody said in a board voice.

"March 10, 1960."

"On what day did he receive the bite from the transformed werewolf?"

"February 23, 1964."

"What age was he when he was bit?

"Four. Almost five."

"Hair color?"

"Light brown."

"Eye color?"

"Blue."

Moody conjured up a tape measure; Remus's mother squealed in shock.

"Are you a Muggle, Mrs. Lupin?

"Yes, sir. But my husband is a wizard."

"I see." Moody seemed curious, but did not address it.

Moody indicated for Remus to stand up.

He stood, and the tape measure spun around him, taking measurements.

After a few minutes of this, the tape measure rolled itself back up and sped off to a desk drawer.

"Shall we go now? We're losing daylight!" Moody seemed antsy to leave the office.

Remus snuck a worried glance outside, but was relieved to see a bright, sunny day awaiting him. He was just thinking about where he would go exploring this afternoon, and didn't want to be rained on. He remembered what Mummy had said. The strange man with the wooden leg would be coming home with them.

"Mummy, will the eye man be staying with me downstairs tonight? Or is he going to be upstairs with you and Daddy? Remus looked at her wide eyes.

His father responded; his mother was biting her lip, and her eyes were flying from Moody, to her husband, to Remus, then back again.

"Er- we'll figure it out when we get home."

Remus beamed, and practically bounced out of the office.

"You didn't tell the kid that you're going to the inn?" Moody's gruff voice said behind Lyall. He started, than turned to gaze at Moody, looking guilty.

"He's five years old, what am I supposed to tell him?"

Moody reached down and pulled his hip flask free. Never breaking eye contact with Lyall, he took a long swig. Once it was reattached, he pushed past Lyall and followed Remus to the elevators.

* * *

Remus was exhausted. Mummy had let him play for hours, something she never usually let him do. While scarfing down his dinner, Remus watched as the adults spoke in hushed voices in the sitting room. At 5:30, Remus's mother and father, and Moody, came to join him at the table. Remus noticed that his mother's eyes were tear-filled, but was too curious about this discussion to question her. Moody spoke first.

"Go get yourself a blanket, kid. Then we'll take a trip downstairs."

Remus got up from the table; in his excitement from being included in the adult conversation, he knocked over his chair as he sprinted to the cabinet. He came back holding a thick quilt. Moody and his parents were waiting for him by the basement door. As they climbed down the steps, Remus could almost not contain his delight. When they reached the bottom, Remus was amazed to see that they had transformed the tiny room. There was now a small bed, a nightstand, a lamp, a window, and one door. He walked over to the bed, and set the blanket down. His parents hung back, letting Moody stand in front.

"Okay, kid, this is where you'll stay tonight. We'll come and get you tomorrow." Moody retreated.

Remus began to hyperventilate. He had completely forgotten that tonight was the night that his parents would have to leave. This would be his first transformation. He wanted desperately for them to stay, but he did not want to put himself in a situation where they would get hurt.

"Mummy, Daddy, why can't you stay?" His fear got the best of him. He burst into tears, not caring that he wasn't supposed to do that type of thing anymore.

His mother pushed against the door, but his father restrained her. He gave her a careful glance. She took a deep breath and steadied herself. Lyall walked over to Remus, giving him a hug and wiping away his tears. Kissing him lightly on the forehead, he left the room. Hope ran forward and hugged Remus, sobbing. This made Remus cry harder. Finally, she collected herself and pulled away. She leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. Moody came back inside.

"We'll be back, okay?" Moody looked at him pityingly.

Remus turned away. As a second thought, he looked up, and saw Moody holding a gigantic steel padlock, saying, "I insist."

Lyall looked back at Remus, who had a horrified expression on his face, and shook his head. Moody pushed him aside, and Remus could no longer see his father. Moody shut the door and Remus heard a loud clicking noise. He was trapped.

Running to the window, he could see that night had fallen. He retreated from the window, not wanting to watch the moon appear. He sat on the bed, and pulled the covers around him. He wondered what transformation would feel like. Would it hurt? Would he remember it in the morning? He rocked back and forth, trying to calm himself with no avail. Remus's eyes locked on the light streaming through the window. Moonlight. He untangled himself from the blanket and stood in the center of the room.

His limbs ached. His fingers lengthened before his eyes, his nails growing into large claws. His head throbbed painfully with every beat of his heart. His nose extended painfully. He threw his head back and let out a sad howl. He dropped his head and his mind went blank.

* * *

Lyall looked away from the window, his ears ringing with the slow howl that had just pierced the otherwise quiet night. Hope immersed from the bathroom, her eyes puffy and red. She climbed into bed, her slight frame shaking with sobs. She knew who's howl that had been.

Lyall turned off the light, his head pressed firmly against the pillow. They must try to get some rest, he thought. For Remus's sake. So they could deal with whatever happened rationally.

Another howl broke through the windows. He wanted to see Remus so badly. Would it really kill him if he went to go check on Remus? He knew how dangerous this idea was; he had heard stories of people being mauled and eaten by werewolves before. But he didn't care, for he was being driven crazy by the howls. He climbed out of bed, and crept to the door. He yanked on his overcoat and slipped on some shoes. Pulling it open, he nearly screamed in fright. Moody was sitting in a chair across the hallway, clearly expecting that one of them would try to escape to see Remus.

"Not a chance, Lupin." Moody said, sounding extremely board.

Lyall was overcome with unnecessary anger. Who did this man think he was, preventing him from seeing his son? He opened his mouth to speak, but was immediately cut off by Moody.

"Why do you think that they put top-rank Ministry wizards with the parents on their children's first transformations? Because this happens every time-you think that it won't harm anyone, just going to check up on your child, but really, it would. How do you think your kid would feel if he accidentally killed his own father while he was out of his own mind? I've seen that kid of yours, and trust me, it would break him to know that he had done such a thing."

Lyall was speechless. He turned on his heel and left the hallway. He removed his coat and shoes, and crawled back under the covers. His mind was racing. Listening to the buzzing inside his head, he drifted off into sleep.

* * *

Remus lay naked on the concrete floor. He was curled up in a tight ball, and when he moved, he would be racked with pain. He suspected he might have broken a rib, and he knew he wouldn't be able to move his face without making the slash in his cheek bleed. His entire body was covered in small cuts and scratches. He took deep breaths, trying to calm his frenzied heart. He waited for his parents to return. He didn't remember a thing about last night, except seeing a small patch of moonlight, and then the world fading out.

He heard people coming down the staircase. The lock clicked, and the door swung open. He groaned as the light hit his sensitive eyes, and his mother gasped in shock. His father simply stared with an open mouth, but Moody didn't look surprised at all.

"We'll have to levitate him out." He said.

Lyall whipped out his wand and preformed the spell before anyone else could. Carefully, he led his son up the stairs and into the kitchen. Remus caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror as they passed; he was covered in dried blood, and his arm was sticking out at an unhealthy angle. His father set him down in the bathtub, than turned on the shower. The warm water rained down on him, and his mother covered him with soap, being very gentle with his wounds. Once he was clean, she bandaged all of his broken bones, and carried him to his bed. She dressed him in his softest pyjamas, and he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

* * *

**xx**

**bandeall**


	3. Poison

"Remus, this is Mr. Gregory." Hope Lupin pointed at the tall, balding man.

Mr. Gregory gave Remus a tight-lipped smile. Remus's mother opened the door wide and ushered him in. She gestured for Remus to follow.

Remus desperately hoped that this visitor wasn't one of his father's 'friends'. Remus was sick of these strange people making him eat funny things, or forcing him to act a certain way.

He knew that his parents were trying to cure him of lycanthropy. He was now seven, and he understood his parent's actions much more than before. He knew that they were really hiring doctors to come look at him, to fix him. Nothing had worked. Remus knew that there was a large chance that nothing would ever work; he was conscious of the fact that lycanthropy was so far incurable.

He was feeling slightly frustrated with his parents at the moment; he was just getting over a particularly bad transformation, and they had already brought someone in. In wolfish form, Remus was strong enough to splinter the window. When he had awoken the previous morning, he found himself lying in a pile of broken glass. His father had repaired the window in an instant, but he and Remus's mother had exchanged worried glances. Remus had had to spend the morning pulling the shards of glass out of his skin.

Gregory was already in the kitchen when Remus arrived. He was pulling various objects out of his briefcase. Remus took a step forward to see the items, but his father threw out his hand, stopping him. Remus looked over his father's arm to see what he would be forced to do next.

There was a small vial of bubbling purple liquid, what looked like one long stalk of Fluxweed, and two sharp, small nails. Remus gulped. He silently prayed that he would not be forced to consume these, but was dismayed to see Gregory put all the ingredients into a small cup. He waved his wand over the cup, and the nail melted into a smoking, cream-colored blob. The stalk of Fluxweed caught on fire, than burned into a fine ash. They mixed with the purple stuff, creating a slimy looking beverage. Remus wrinkled his nose. It looked disgusting.

Gregory spun around, holding the glass out to Remus. He took it. His mother gave him a hopeful look. He raised the cup to his lips, tilting his head back. The liquid burned his tongue. It felt like acid had scorched his mouth. He tried to swallow. His stomach convulsed, sending the fluid back out. Retching, he ran to the sink, his body determined to get every last drop out of his system. When he immersed, he saw that his mother and father were gazing furiously at Mr. Gregory.

"What have you fed my son?" His father asked, his body shaking with fury.

"Dragon claw, Fluxweed, and Acromantula venom-" Gregory was cut off by Lyall.

"You tried to**poison** my son?" Lyall's face was contorted with anger.

Gregory smirked. "That's what I intended to do, and what would have happened, if he hadn't thrown it up! He is a monster, and he deserves nothing short of death."

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Lyall roared, pulling out his wand.

The wizard disapperated with a sharp cracking sound.

Lyall pointed outside to the garden.

"Go and play, Remus. Mummy and I need to talk."

Remus left the house. He squinted in the bright sunlight. He walked to the tall, metal fence that his parents had installed last summer. He put his hand over the flowers the sprouted on the edges. One daisy bloomed, then curled up, than bloomed again under his touch.

"What are you doing?"

Remus looked up to see a small boy, about his age, standing on the other side of the fence. Remus hadn't seen someone his own age in three years. He was forbidden to talk to other children. His parents were terrified that he would tell someone about his condition.

Remus didn't know what to do. He wanted badly to talk to this boy, but he knew that he shouldn't. He glanced backwards to the house. Through the glass, he could see his father gesturing towards the garden. He turned back to the boy.

"I'm making the flowers grow." He said, showing the boy the flower.

The boy looked fascinated.

"I'm Phillip. Who are you? I've never seen you at school before." He said.

"I'm Remus. You wouldn't see me at the school, because I don't go there. I'm homeschooled."

"Really? How peculiar." Phillip said, staring at Remus's hand.

Remus followed his gaze and saw that he was making the flower blossom and die at rapid speed.

"Remus? Who is that? Who are you talking to?" He heard his father's voice behind him.

Lyall turned the corner and saw Remus sitting by the fence with Phillip. All the color in his face drained.

"Remus, go inside immediately." He said in a shaky voice.

Remus got to his feet, confused.

"Why?" He said.

"Do as I say, Remus. Go inside." His father's voice was cold.

Dusting off his trousers as he went, he walked into the kitchen, his father right behind him.

"Remus, what did you tell him?" He heard his father say in a demanding voice.

"Nothing, he was just wondering why I can make the flowers blossom-" Remus was cut off by his father's yelp.

"Remus, go pack up your things. We're leaving." His father said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"But-"

"No, Remus. Go and pack. Now." Lyall waved his wand, and in the kitchen, he heard a thud as the silverware began to pack itself up.

* * *

Two hours later, the Lupin's house was bare. Every single piece of their lives had been crammed into boxes, which now filled their sitting room. Lyall placed an Undetectable Extension Charm on all the boxes, than put them into a knapsack.

Lyall grabbed Remus's hand, then linked arms with Hope. Turning on the point, they apperated.

Remus hated apperating. He loathed the feeling of being jammed into a small tube, with no air and no room to move. Just when he thought he couldn't possibly go any longer, that he would suffocate, he heard a small popping sound and was able to draw in great breaths.

He looked around. He was in an unfamiliar kitchen with his mother and father, who had already begun to unpack the knapsack. Remus ran to the window. With one glance, he knew that he was far, far away from his old home. Snow fell lightly on the ground, coating the plants.

"Mum, why did we leave?" He said, his nose pressed against the cold window. His breath fogged up the glass.

Hope Lupin shot a worried glance at her husband.

"It was too dangerous to stay. The boy you met, Phillip, already has too much information about us."

Remus's worst fears were confirmed. He was the reason they left. It was always his fault. He had been bitten, and now he could never make his parents happy.

Something occurred to Remus. Where would he transform in this strange house?

He got up from the window. He walked out of the sitting room and down a long hallway. At the end of the corridor was a tall metal door. He opened the door and went down the winding staircase. Remus unbolted a large wooden door and wrenched it open. He was horror-struck at what he saw.

He was in a spacious concrete room. There was one small window. He felt claustrophobic. He curled up in a tight ball on the floor, trying to control his nausea. He felt trapped.

* * *

**Eh, not sure I like this chapter. I promise next one will be better. **

**xx**

**bandeall**


	4. Diagon Alley

"Hello. I am Albus Dumbledore. May I come in?"

A tall man in rich purple robes stood upon the Lupin's doorstep. Lyall Lupin was taken aback. He, of course, knew exactly who this man was. But he also knew that this could be nothing good.

"Lyall? Who's at the door?" His wife called from inside the house.

"No one." He responded.

"Well, it has to be someone." She replied, her voice growing closer and closer. She looked up at the bearded man.

"Who are you?" She asked.

"Albus Dumbledore. I am here to discuss Remus's education at Hogwarts next year."

Lyall felt flustered.

"Absolutely not." Lyall said reproachfully.

"I must insist." Dumbledore said calmly.

Lyall spun around, cocking his head so he could see into the sitting room. There, ten-year-old Remus sat, reading. Turning back to face Dumbledore, he said,

"There is no need for you to come here. We already know that it wouldn't be safe to send Remus to Hogwarts, you don't need to tell the poor boy again. He's disappointed as it is." Lyall closed the door in Dumbledore's face.

"What was that about?" Hope Lupin said to her husband.

"I don't know. We already know what he was going to say." He said, distressed.

The sound of Remus's laugh rang through the house. Lyall walked back to the kitchen, wondering what was going on. He felt faint.

There, sitting on the Lupin's patched couch, was Dumbledore. He was playing Gobstones with Remus by the fire, eating crumpets.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He asked of Dumbledore.

"I'm playing Gobstones with Remus." Dumbledore said plainly.

"How did you get into our home? What do you want with us?" Remus's father asked, rushing forward to sit by Remus.

"Like I said before you shut the door in my face, I would like to discuss Remus's education at Hogwarts next year."

Lyall looked anxiously at his wife.

"You don't understand. Remus can't attend Hogwarts."

Dumbledore shook his head.

"No, I'm afraid that's not correct. I know exactly what Fenrir Greyback did to Remus. I have spies among the Dark creatures; they tell me that Fenrir boasted of what he had done to all that would listen. But I see no reason that Remus couldn't go to Hogwarts next year. I have made special arrangements to make sure of his safety at Hogwarts. If he agrees, he will have a safe, secure, and private place to transform. I have built a house on the outskirts of Hogsmeade especially for him. This house is guarded by many spells, and can only be entered from one tunnel on the Hogwarts grounds. A magical tree has been placed at the entrance to stop anyone from coming across Remus while he is dangerous. This tree will be impossible to enter for anyone but him, because only he will know how to calm the tree. Once a month, he will be smuggled out of the castle, and brought to this house to transform." Dumbledore sat back in his chair, looking quite pleased with himself.

Remus was shocked. He had fully accepted that he couldn't go to Hogwarts, and was prepared to be educated at home until he was of age.

"Albus, how can we be sure that he won't be a threat to the other students?" Lyall asked, sending Remus a forgiving look.

"Remus will be miles away from Hogwarts when he transforms, so there is no danger in that. Unless Remus plans to bite people while in human form, which I doubt he does, there is no relevant threat to anyone." Dumbledore seemed to have thought this out very well.

Remus's father apparently couldn't find a problem with the suggestions. Dumbledore seemed to understand this.

"Well than. Remus, I shall see you on September first. Goodbye." Dumbledore left the sitting room, walked down the hallway, and strode out the front door.

The Lupins sat in shock. Remus couldn't believe it. He would be with people his own age! He would have friends! He wouldn't be alone anymore.

* * *

Two months later, Remus found himself in Diagon Alley. He had never been to a place where there were only wizards surrounding him.

Diagon Alley was a bright and cheerful place. Remus wished he had more eyes; he couldn't take in everything at once. So many new things bombarded his brain. Brightly colored shops drew his attention, and he wanted more than anything to stop and look at each one. Only one thing discouraged him.

Large 'wanted' posters were slathered on the front windows of many shops. Their mugshots moved, startling him. Scary, bedraggled men scowled out at him, baring their rotted teeth and smiling. Evil-looking women battled their dark eyelids at him, snarling. Their Azkaban cell numbers were placed underneath the picture.

A man in patched wizard's robes reached out to Remus, his grimy hands gripping his wrist firmly.

"Care for a werewolf repellant, young sir? To protect your pretty little neck? Only ten gallons, a real bargain!" He smiled at Remus with blackened teeth.

Remus pulled out of his grip, massaging his wrist.

"No thank you." Remus said, backing away from the vague man. Remus's father pulled him down the street.

Remus shuffled down the street. He, of course, knew that people would be afraid of him if they knew the truth. Was it that obvious that he was a werewolf? He hoped not. Would people at Hogwarts notice, too? It made him feel sick with fear. His mother noticed.

"Remus, dear, let's go in there! Look at that, a racing broom!" She dragged him into the store.

There was a massive crowd surrounding one broom. Remus pushed through the crowd, wanting to see what could be so interesting. He found himself standing next to a thin, bespectacled black-haired boy.

"Amazing, isn't it? It's the Cleansweep 800! The fastest broom there is!" The boy said, his hazel eyes gleaming with excitement.

Remus nodded, not knowing what else to do. He had absolutely no idea what a Cleansweep 800 was. He had never seen a racing broom before.

The boy turned to him again. "I'm James Potter. Who are you? Are you going to Hogwarts, too?"

Remus nodded. As a second thought, he stuttered,

"I'm Remus Lupin." He didn't know what else to say.

"Which house are you going to be in, if you've got a choice? I'm going to be in Gryffindor, like my dad." James said with an air of certainty.

It occurred to Remus that he knew absolutely nothing about Hogwarts.

"I don't know." Remus said to James.

"Hopefully not Slytherin, I suppose." James said, looking at his watch. He jumped, then said,

"See you at Hogwarts, okay?" He disappeared into the crowd.

Remus pushed his way back through the crowd. That hadn't been so bad.

Remus found his parents waiting by the door. With the cool air on his face, Remus felt better.

* * *

They continued on to Madam Malkin's; for his school robes, then the Apothecary; for potion's ingredients, and then Flourish and Blott's; for his schoolbooks. Their last stop was Ollivander's, the wand shop.

Remus pulled open the brass handle. Stepping inside, he found himself in a dusty room. A middle-aged man looked up from behind the front desk.

"Hogwarts, too? Come along then." Mr. Ollivander said.

With a backward glance at his parents; Remus followed Ollivander farther and farther into the store. Pausing in the middle of the row, Mr. Ollivander reached up and pulled out a velvet box. He opened it and pulled out the wand.

"Hawthorne, unicorn hair, slightly bendable." He said, passing the wand to Remus.

Remus took it, holding it loftily.

"Not so high, not so high!" Mr. Ollivander pulled Remus's arm down.

"Well, give it a wave."

Remus flourished the wand. High above him, several boxes flew out of their rows and landed with a thump at his feet. Ollivander snatched the wand out of his hands.

He spun around, then bent and extracted another narrow box.

"Ebony, kelpie hair, excellent at Transfiguration."

Ollivander withdrew the wand, than passed it to Remus.

Remus flicked the wand. He heard the sound of faraway glass shattering. Remus felt the wand leave his hands.

Ollivander was already halfway down the row, reaching up for a wand. Remus jogged to keep up with him.

"No, no," Ollivander whispered to himself, as he ran his finger across the labels on the velvet boxes.

He stopped and pulled one out.

"Cypress wood, unicorn tail hair, 10¼ inches, very pliable." He handed the wand over.

Remus waved the wand. Remus felt a rush of warm shoot up his wand arm. Golden sparks flew out of the wand, lighting up Ollivander's face.

"That's the one! That's the one!" Ollivander was positively bursting with excitement.

When they reached the front, Remus presented his wand to his beaming parents. His father fished around in his money satchel. They paid, than left.

Remus had never been happier in his entire life. This was real. He had a wand. He was a wizard. He could go to Hogwarts. He couldn't remember being this carefree in a long, long time.

* * *

**Hogwarts next chapter! Woo-hoo! Please leave a review if you liked this chapter.**

**xx**

**bandeall**


	5. Hogwarts at last

Remus gripped his father's arm hard, not wanting to get lost in the pulsing crowd. Lyall Lupin pushed his son's heavy trolley through the morning traffic at King's Cross Station.

Remus's mother had stayed home for this occasion, because she couldn't get through the wizard boundary. Before they had left, she had tearfully given him calendar with all the full moons circled.

"We won't be there to remind you anymore." She had said, sniffing.

It had positively broken Remus's heart to see her sobbing into her hands as they left.

Remus hadn't ever been away from his parents before for more than a night. That factor scared him, but he was already looking forward to his new freedom. He would no longer have to see his parent's disappointed faces when the doctor's strange remedies didn't cure him. He wouldn't have to pack up his things and leave town when someone asked him why he always looked pale and sickly before the full moon. He couldn't wait. No one would ever know what he truly was. For the first time in his life, he could be normal.

Remus's father stopped in front of the barrier between platforms nine and ten.

"Shall we take it at a run?" He asked.

Remus nodded, petrified.

Lyall pushed the trolley forward, pulling Remus with him. Gathering speed, they were seconds away from possible collision. Remus winced and closed his eyes, but there was no impact. Opening his eyes, Remus was astonished with that he saw.

The scarlet Hogwarts express stood tall, with thick white steam pouring out of the top. Through the mist, Remus could see large owls hooting in their cages, and frantic parents hurrying their children onto the train. Remus's father checked his watch.

"Up you go, Remus. It's nearly 11:00, and you don't want to miss the train." He said.

For the first time, Remus felt frightened. He was leaving. Right now. He couldn't back out now. Remus's father seemed to sense this.

"Remus, it will be okay. I couldn't be prouder of you. You are the smartest eleven year old I have ever met. Mum loves you. I love you. Go have fun. Make a million friends. You deserve it more than anyone."

Remus threw his arms around his father, whispering,

"I love you. I'll miss you."

His father ruffled his hair, than helped him up onto the train, shutting the compartment door. The train started to gather speed. Remus waved frantically out at his father. He waved back, smiling up at his son. The train pulled away. Remus watched his father glide away from him.

He felt better. He turned to face the hallway. He began to lug his trunk down the passageway, receiving dirty looks as he blocked the way. He soon noticed that almost every compartment was full. He walked, carriage to carriage, looking for an open spot. He saw the boy from Diagon Alley in a half-full compartment, but decided not to join him after he saw that he was in a heated argument with another boy.

Remus reached the end of the train. He had come to the conclusion that there were no empty spots, and was readying himself to sit on the rattling floor when the door on his right opened. He looked up.

A redheaded girl was holding out her hand. He took it, and she hauled him up to his feet.

"I'm Lily. Would you fancy sitting with us? We have open seats." She gestured backwards into the compartment.

Gratefully, Remus nodded. Lily helped him pull his heavy truck into the compartment, where they put it on the luggage rack. Remus wiped his sweaty bangs out of his face.

"Thanks." He said, sitting next to Lily.

He looked up to see another boy. He had long, greasy-looking black hair, and was already dressed in his school robes. Remus vaguely wondered if he should change too. Lily followed his gaze, than said,

"This is Severus Snape. Severus, this is . . ." She looked at Remus, as though she just realized that she didn't know his name.

"Remus. Remus Lupin."

Snape nodded, but didn't tear his eyes away from the window. Lily huffed, than turned to Remus.

"Where were you sitting before? Sev and I were just sitting with some awfully rude boys down the way, and I'm so glad that you're much nicer. Aren't you, Severus?"

Snape grunted.

Lily threw up her arms in exasperation. She shook her head, upsetting her dark red curls. She seemed to be trying to make Snape talk.

"I'm ever so excited to be going to Hogwarts, are you?"

* * *

Remus and Lily chatted peacefully for the rest of the train journey. Remus learned that Lily was a muggle-born, and that she hadn't even known that Hogwarts existed until last year. She had a jealous sister, but her parents couldn't have been happier for her. Remus told Lily about his family, and about his scattered life, leaving out nothing but his lycanthropy. She seemed genuinely interested. Every so often, Lily would spring a question on Snape, but always was replied to with a shrug of his shoulders or a nod.

When they finally ran out of things to discuss, Remus was shocked to see that it was already dark outside. He and Lily pulled on their robes, than crowded around the window, craning for a glimpse of Hogwarts. Remus felt jittery. He didn't feel sick at all, and was thrilled to have made a new friend.

A voice rang through the train: "We will be reaching Hogwarts in exactly five minutes' time. Please leave your luggage on the train, it will be taken up to the school separately."

Beside him, Lily squealed and rushed to the window. Remus felt like fireworks were going off inside him. With a screech, the train began to slow. Lily flopped backwards into her seat, disappointed. It seemed she hadn't been able to see Hogwarts from here. They got to their feet and joined the throng of people at the exit. Together, they jumped off the train and onto the platform.

Remus felt a cool breeze on his cheeks, and breathed a sigh of relief. A lamp flared a few feet away from him.

"Firs' years! Over here! Follo' me!" A large man with a very bushy beard came into view.

Remus and Lily exchanged a glance. Neither of them had ever seen a man like this ever before.

They found themselves being pushed forward by the crowd, and they stumbled after the giant man.

Lily gasped. Remus looked up, wanting to see what could be so surprising.

High above them, Hogwarts stood with many gleaming windows and majestic towers.

The man clapped loudly, drawing their attention back to him. He pointed to a pod of boats below them, bobbing in the water.

"Four to a boat, no more!"

Pushing and shoving, the first years made their way down to the boats. Remus found himself in a boat with Lily, the bespectacled boy from Diagon Alley, and a boy with curly black hair. The boat began to glide across the dark water. Lily groaned.

"Those are the boys from the other compartment. The rude ones." She whispered to Remus.

He was surprised. That boy had been so kind to him in Diagon Alley.

The boy looked up at him, a grin lighting up his face.

"Hey, I know you! Remus, right? I'm James, remember? We met at Diagon Alley."

Lily looked at Remus.

"You know him?" She said, a look of disgust on her face.

"Vaguely." He said, shooting James a forgiving glance. Lily nodded.

"This is Sirius." James said, pointing to the curly-haired boy. Sirius smiled at them.

Lily turned away from them, focusing her attention on Hogwarts.

"Heads down!" The bearded man yelled.

They bent their heads, and when they raised them, found themselves tucked away at the bottom of a large staircase that led up to the castle. They walked up, their legs aching.

When they reached the top, the man knocked once on the great oak door.

The door opened. A tall woman pulled the door ajar, ushering them in. She led them up an enormous marble staircase and into an empty hall.

"Welcome to Hogwarts. I am Professer McGonagall. The start-of-term feast will begin momentary, but before you may take your seats, you must first be sorted into your houses. Your house will be like your family here at Hogwarts. You will learn, dine, sleep, and spend time with your house.

The four houses of Hogwarts are Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Each house has its own history, each of which you will learn about in the coming years. While you are here, your achievements will earn house points, and any misbehaving will lose points. At the end of the year, the house that was awarded with the most points will win the house cup, a great honor."

The first-years were dead silent. Remus glanced at Lily; she looked absolutely terrified.

McGonagall glanced back at the large door behind her.

"We are ready for you now." She pulled the door open wide. Remus gasped.

The gigantic hall was lit by floating candles that hung over four long tables. The tables were filled with students, all of which were looking at them. At the front of the hall, there was an even bigger table where the rest of the teachers sat. Remus looked up. The ceiling looked exactly like the night sky, specked with glittering stars.

The first years shuffled forward, stopping before the teacher's table. Professor McGonagall pulled out a short stool with a tattered hat sitting upon it. To Remus's amazement, the hat twitched. He gasped as a rip near the brim opened wide. The hat began to sing.

Remus watched in disbelief as the hat sang about Gryffindor; where they were brave and strong, Hufflepuff; where they were loyal and true, Ravenclaw; where the wit and honored found their place, and Slytherin; where the cunning and clever met their match.

At the end of the song, there was a great round of applause, but it quickly died out as McGonagall pulled a piece of parchment from the hat. Unrolling it, she coughed, than spoke in a clear, high voice.

"Black, Sirius."

Remus spun around to see the curly-haired boy from the boat make his way up to the stool. He sat, than shut his eyes as the hat was lowered onto his head.

"GRYFFINDOR!" The hat roared as soon as it touched his head.

Sirius opened his eyes in confusion, than a grin spread across his face. He leapt up, handed the hat back to McGonagall, than jogged toward the cheering table. Remus stared at his shoes, tuning out McGonagall. He looked up to watch Lily get sorted; like Sirius, the hat only touched her head for seconds before shouting out, 'GRYFFINDOR!"

Remus felt a sharp poke on his ribs. He looked up to see James frantically pointing to the stage. Remus blushed, then pushed through the ground and up towards McGonagall. He sat on the stool. He felt the hat closing around his ears.

_"Hmmm, what do we have here . . ." _A small voice said in his ear. _"Werewolf, are we? Not to worry, not to worry, the sorting hat will keep your secret. I see courage, yes, and bravery, oh my, lots of that. I'll put you in _GRYFFINDOR!_" _The hat screamed the last word out to the hall.

Remus got up, happiness swelling up inside of him. He walked shakily to join Lily, who had sat far away from Sirius. Looking down at his plate, Remus realized that he was starving. He looked up, pleased to see only a small group of people remained. He watched silently as "Potter, James", "Longbottom, Frank" and "Pettigrew, Peter" were sorted into Gryffindor. When "Snape, Severus" was sorted into Slytherin, he heard Lily groan quietly. He decided not to question her.

Albus Dumbledore got to his feet at the center of the teacher's table.

"Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! I would like to introduce our new Herbology teacher, Professor Sprout," A pretty blonde woman stood up and waved. Dumbledore shushed the chatter. "And now, before we begin, let us say a few words. Bludder! Oddie!"

The hall tittered with laughter. Dumbledore waved his hands, and, to Remus's amazement, the gleaming golden dishes filled themselves to the brim with food. As he filled his plate, he listened to the conversations around him. James and Sirius were discussing something called Quidditch, and Lily was laughing with a girl named Alice. Remus stuffed himself, rather enjoying listening more than talking. When he felt that he could take no more, he sat back, the peaceful humming of chatter calming him.

* * *

At the end of dinner, Remus got to his feet with the other Gryffindors, and followed them to what he supposed was their common room. They walked up the perpetual staircases, taking so many turns Remus wondered how he was going to keep track of where the common room was. They stopped abruptly in front of a painting of a very plump woman in a pink dress.

"Password?" She said, sounding bored.

"Fluxweed." Someone said at the front of the pack. The painting swung open.

Remus moved forward, than found himself inside a comforting, red-and-gold room. The sight of crackling fire, plush chairs, and mahogany desks filled the room. A tall boy stopped them.

"Boys' dormitory to the left, girls' on the right." He pointed.

They filled past him, than entered their new room.

Rich gold tapestries hung from the ceiling, and the beds were covered with beautiful scarlet covers. Their trunks rested by their beds, their pyjamas already laid out and waiting. The boys ran forward, marveling at their new home. Remus climbed up onto his bed, then drew the drapes around his bed closed. He dressed, then climbed underneath the covers and stared up at the ceiling.

He was extremely peaceful.

* * *

**I want to thank 'acciomemories' for her lovely reviews. You made my day! I appreciate it so, so much! You gave me great feedback, and I seriously love you for it. You inspired part of this chapter. . . *cough little james and sirius cough* **

**Please leave a review if you liked this chapter. Any chapter requests? Tell me them in a review. **

**xx**

**bandeall**


	6. Quidditch

The next morning, James, Sirius, a boy named Peter, and Remus walked down to breakfast together. They arrived, breathless, just as the morning post was delivered. They had gotten hopelessly lost on the way down, and had only found their way after being pointed in the right direction by the friendly ghost of Gryffindor tower, Nearly Headless Nick.

As they ran into the Great Hall, Remus was taken aback to see owls flying in through the ceiling, dropping letters and packages onto their owners below. James sat, panting, as a majestic tawny owl dropped a large package on his lap. He ripped it open, and mince pies tumbled onto his lap. Sirius reached over the bowl of fruit and snatched one.

"Thfnks." Sirius said, his mouth full. He outstretched his arm for another one, but James swatted it away.

Remus filled his plate with all that he could reach: bacon, broiled tomatoes, muffins, toast, eggs, and sausages.

He watched as James and Sirius pilled their plates high with food, but little Peter only picked at his toast.

Professor McGonagall walked up and down the Gryffindor table, handling out schedules as she went. Remus was first to get his. As he read it out loud, James craned his neck to see down the table. He looked disappointed. James focused his attention back to Remus.

"We have double Herbology with the Ravenclaws first, than Potions, Charms, Transfiguration today. Oh, look, on Wednesday night we have Astronomy, and on Thursday, we have Defense against the Dark Arts! And, on Friday, we have flying classes with the Slytherins." Remus read out to the group.

"Could I sit here?" A quiet voice came from behind Remus. He looked up to see Lily pointing to the spot next to him. He nodded. She looked behind her and gestured to the two people to sit across from her. Remus recognized them as Frank Longbottom and Alice Prewett. They sat dutifully in front of Lily.

Remus heard a sigh. He looked over to see James leaning on one elbow, his eyes glazed over as he stared at Lily. Remus poked him hard in the ribs. He jolted, but blushed as he saw Sirius silently shaking with laughter.

* * *

They left Great Hall, and made their way down to the greenhouses. They were the first ones there. Over the next ten minutes, the rest of the Gryffindors and Ravenclaws trickled into the greenhouses.

The greenhouse was one of the strangest things Remus had ever seen in his entire life. He saw gigantic flowering plants, and tiny weeds that grew at alarming speeds, shooting out of the soil in front of his disbelieving eyes. He could have sworn that he saw one plant attempt of attack another. He shook his head, wondering if he was hallucinating. He and the first years gathered around the large table in the center of the rooms.

The quiet chatter died out quickly as a young woman made her way to the front of the table. Remus recognized her as Professor Sprout.

"Welcome to your first Herbology lesson here at Hogwarts. I am Professor Sprout. Today we will be working with Puffpods. Please put on your dragon hide gloves; these pods, if touched, will bloom instantly. Please work in groups of four. Pods are over there." She pointed a counter on the far corner of the room.

The first years were astonished that they were allowed to begin working so quickly. Remus had been expecting a long chat about safety and rules. He felt a little discombobulated without a plan. He liked things to be orderly and neat.

They shuffled over to the worktable, and divided up into fours. Remus found himself working on a Puffpod with James, Sirius, and Peter.

Remus found pulled on his gloves and reached forward to pull a pod off of the plant. He successfully pulled it off, and set it in the collection bin in the center of the table. Next to him, Peter was watching other groups work, not even attempting to pull of the pods.

James and Sirius, however, were trying, and having absolutely no luck. Sirius had gotten the finger of his glove stuck to a thorn, and was attempting to wrestle it free. With a ripping noise, the glove sprung free. Sirius pulled it back on and reached for a Puffpod. The second his fingers closed around it, Sirius dropped the pod and leapt away. Professor Sprout threw him a disapproving look.

"Aw, bloody hell, I ripped it! What now?" Sirius showed them the thin slash on the pointer finger of the glove.

"Peter, give me your glove. You're not using it, are you?" Sirius asked Peter. Peter shook his head, and extracted his hand from his own glove. He passed it to Sirius.

Sirius pulled it on, than carefully touched a pod. Nothing happened. Sirius breathed a sigh of relief.

They spent the rest of the class collecting the pods. Sirius swore loudly every time someone accidentally made a pod blossom, earning him several dirty looks from Sprout. (He responded to this by making impolite gestures at her underneath the table.) Covered in dirt and sweating profusely, the Gryffindors trekked up to the tower to wash up before heading to Potions.

* * *

The rest of the day passed by in a blur. After lunch, the Gryffindors made their way to Transfiguration. Remus was especially excited for this class. He liked the idea of being able to transform into an animal by his own choice, not forcefully. They hurried into class and took their seats. Remus sat by James.

Professor McGonagall strode in, and the chatting stopped instantly. Remus got the impression that she was not one to cross.

She began class by turning into a cat. They were all very excited to begin, and where whispering quickly about which animal they would change themselves into, when she turned back to human.

"You will not be turning into animals in my class. This class is for object transformation, not human. I am an Animagi, which requires a mature wizard or witch and extremely advanced magic. Only Animaguses can turn into animals by will. Others, like werewolves, cannot change by their own personal will, but have no choice." She took a fleeting glance at Remus. He looked around quickly. Had anyone noticed? James gave him a questioning look and Remus turned to face the front again.

"But this is not what my class is about. In this classroom, you will be doing potentially dangerous magic. There will be no foolishness in my class. Today, you will be turning matchsticks into needles." She stared out at them. Remus thought she had a particularly hawk-like gaze.

"Longbottom. Pass out these matchsticks." Frank squeaked, but rose to his feet and got the box from McGonagall. He gave each person a matchstick.

They were given very complicated instructions, but were than allowed to attempt the charm.

Remus said the incantation and waved his wand over and over again, but there was no change in his match. Remus threw down his wand, frustrated. Beside him, James yelped, than held up a shining silver needle. He earned Gryffindor five points. Remus felt slightly jealous of James. He had excelled at every class, being the first to achieve something new.

* * *

The next few days seemed to melt together in Remus's mind. He had classes during the day, and at night, would collapse into his bed, exhausted.

He awoke Friday morning, refreshed. He had no morning classes, and was thoroughly enjoying sleeping in.

He heard shuffling behind him, then suddenly felt a rush of cold air on his back.

"Remus, get up! It's flying practice today!" James's voice said. Remus could hear James shaking the rest of the boys awake.

Remus groaned, and made to pull the drapes back around his bed.

"Oh no you don't." James said, pulling the curtains away from the dormitory window.

Piercing sunlight filtered in through the window, blinding Remus. He pulled himself out of bed, knowing that James wouldn't stop until they were all up. Remus sleepily dragged his robes over his head, ruffled his hair in an attempt to make it look presentable, though he knew his hair would look perfectly groomed compared to James's.

James rushed them all through breakfast, only slowing down to wish Lily good morning.

James forced them out of the Great Hall, toast still balanced precariously in their hands, down to what James and Sirius called the Quidditch field. They sat on the damp ground, munching on their toast and discussing last night's Charm's homework. James attempted to explain Quidditch to Remus. At the end of it, Remus felt extremely stupid. He still had no idea what Quidditch was.

The rest of the first years came in, one by one, each looking surprised to see them. When the class had assembled, a man with long brown hair walked out of the back room, carrying brooms. After he set all the brooms down, he addressed them.

"I am Professor Kettleburn. I will be the Quidditch referee for the upcoming games. This lesson is to introduce flying to you, and if you fancy it, you may try out for the Gryffindor Quidditch team next year. Everyone, get a broom," he gestured to the pile, "and place it at your feet. Hold your hand over it, and say, 'UP!'"

There was a mad rush to grab a broom, and when everyone had gotten theirs, there was a chorus of 'UP!'

James's broom flew straight into his hands. Remus's broom rolled around on the ground, but didn't take to his command. Sirius's hovered a few inches above the ground, bucking in his direction, but didn't come to him. Peter hadn't even said anything. He, frankly, looked scared.

Professor Kettleburn let them struggle for ten minutes, than allowed them to reach over and pick up their brooms. He gave them instructions on how to place themselves on their brooms.

"On my whistle, kick off the ground and hover." He said.

The whistle was blown sharply, and they all kicked off. Remus found himself suspended about five feet above the ground, his legs unable to touch the ground. He didn't enjoy the feeling. James looked very pleased.

Remus spent the rest of the lesson wobbling around on his broom, looking down every five seconds to check that he wasn't too far off the ground. He was relieved when they finally landed.

As they walked back to the castle, James turned to them, grinning.

"Wasn't that amazing?"

Remus, to be honest, felt sick. He didn't like brooms. He didn't want to admit it, but he felt extremely frightened of brooms.

* * *

******Sorry for the super short chapter- i swear that the next one will be much longer and much better! **

******Like this chapter? Leave me a review. Any chapter requests? Leave it down below in a review also.**

**Once again, thank you 'acciomemories' for the lovely reviews! I simply adore you for it!**

**xx**

**bandeall**


	7. Dumbledore's office

"Excuse me, Professor Slughorn, may I borrow Lupin from you?" Remus whipped his head around to stare at the door. There, Professor McGonagall stood, looking stern. Remus turned back around, massaging his cricked neck.

Professor Slughorn looked up from his cauldron. He had instructed them on how to brew a cure for boils; Remus and Sirius had been hopelessly lost. Professor Slughorn waved off Remus and McGonagall. Remus stood up, quickly shoving _Magical Drafts and Potions _back into his bag. He gave Sirius a pitying look, feeling badly that he had left him to figure out the complicated potion. Remus pushed in his stool and walked to McGonagall, the rest of the class completely silent. Remus wondered what he had done. Had he broken a rule?

Professor McGonagall waited for Remus to leave the dungeons before turning to face him. Remus stood, awaiting punishment.

"Professor Dumbledore would like to have a word with you in his office. Follow me." She said curtly. She set off at a fast walk.

As Remus jogged to keep up with her, it occurred to him that they had never been told where Dumbledore's office was. He realized that he must be in a massive amount of trouble to have been summoned by Dumbledore.

He followed McGonagall around what felt like the length of the castle. She finally stopped in front of a grotesque gargoyle. He stopped, panting. He couldn't figure out why he was so tired.

"Pepper Imp." McGonagall said.

The gargoyle suddenly came to life, startling Remus. It moved aside as the wall behind it spilt and spiraling stairs came into view. He clumsily hopped onto a step, McGonagall right behind him. They rode in silence. Suddenly a large door appeared, and the staircase stopped. McGonagall reached up and knocked with the large knocker in the shape of a griffin. The sight of this took Remus back to a moment, many years previously, one that involved a wolf knocker and one bright blue eye.

Remus suddenly knew why he was being taken to Dumbledore. Tomorrow would be his first transformation at Hogwarts.

How could he have been so stupid? He had never forgotten a transformation before. Remus had been so trouble-free in the last few days that he had subconsciously allowed himself to forget. That explained his sudden tiredness and appetite. He felt the similar sensation of dread fill his body. Oh, why did the transformation have to come now? He had just made friends, and he didn't want to spoil it. They would surely wonder where he was if he disappeared for a few days with no reason. He hadn't thought of this yet. He had been fully prepared to be a loner, and so he hadn't come up with a list of approved excuses.

The oak door opened and a smiling Dumbledore filled Remus's vision.

"Thank you, Minerva." He dismissed McGonagall. Nodding, she left.

Dumbledore looked down at Remus.

"Ah, Remus, so nice to see you! Could you care to come in?" He held the door ajar.

Remus filed past him, and found himself in a large, beautiful room. Strange noises bounced around the circular room. In the center of the room, there was a majestic mahogany desk with a number of funny little devices on it. They were all silver, and they clinked and buzzed randomly as Remus stared. The walls were covered in moving paintings, all of which contained slumbering old witches and wizards. Remus guessed that these people were past headmasters and headmistresses. The shelves behind Dumbledore's desk were filled with books, and Remus wanted nothing more than to run over and examine each one. And, perched upon the topmost shelf, was the sorting hat. It lay limply against a massive book, looking nothing like it had just a week before.

Beside Dumbledore's desk, there was an enormous tray with an alluring bird perched upon it. It was scarlet, with streaks of gold and silver running through its feathers. It squawked, but Remus heard an unfamiliar, beautiful sound. Its melody seemed to ring in his ears, but not in an unpleasant way. Remus was disappointed when it stopped.

"I see you've met Fawkes, my phoenix." Dumbledore's voice said from behind.

Remus spun around, embarrassed. He hadn't meant to invade in Dumbledore's office. Dumbledore walked around his desk and sat in a high-backed chair. He indicated for Remus to sit down in front of him. He sat.

"Remus, I'm sure that you know why you're here. Tomorrow will be your first transformation here at Hogwarts. You must be very, very careful. Madam Pomfrey will take you to the Whomping Willow at dusk, and she will collect you there Wednesday morning at 6 o'clock."

Dumbledore stared down at Remus, a kind smile upon his face. Remus glanced around Dumbledore's cluttered office, his eyes resting on Fawkes. The bird let out a sorrowful sound, one that lasted for many moments. Dumbledore closed his eyes, enjoying the sound. When the noise stopped, he opened his eyes.

"Professor, what will I tell my friends? They will surely try to discover where I am going." Remus said in a worried voice.

Dumbledore looked down at Remus.

"Anything that you please. Tell them your mother has fallen ill and you must go to visit her."

Remus sighed, and was extremely surprised when he felt a gentle weight on his leg. He looked down to see Fawkes sitting on him. He reached down and stroked him. Remus relaxed as Fawkes nestled into his stomach. He bit his lip. He seemed to be considering an important thought.

"Er, Professor, what am I to do if they do find out?"

Dumbledore sat back in his chair, twiddling his fingers. After a moment of silence, he replied,

"As we discussed, you must try exceptionally hard to keep this a secret. But, if it so happens that your friends find out, we shall deliberate our options then."

Remus was filled with fear. He promised himself, there and then, that it could never, ever come to that.

"Ah, Remus, it seems that classes have ended, you may proceed straight to your common room."

Dumbledore looked at him, his blue eyes twinkling. Remus felt like he was being x-rayed. Dumbledore gave him one last smile, than reached into his desk and pulled out a piece of paper, clearly dismissing him.

He nodded feebly, more to himself than Dumbledore, than left the office. He climbed down the staircase, thinking hard about this new information. He was almost to the bottom when he heard scuffling, then silence. He groaned, then called out,

"You can come out now, I know that you're there. Peter, I can see your foot."

James, Peter, and Sirius ducked out from under the gargoyle, looking sheepish.

"So, what did Dumbledore want with you?" James asked, clearly trying to sound casual. Remus decided not to ask how James possibly knew where Dumbledore's office was.

Remus felt sick with fear, looking around at his three friends. His only friends. Somehow, he managed to choke out,

"Oh, he wanted to speak to me about my, er, Charms grade."

Sirius clapped him on the back, looking disapproving.

"Our little overachiever," James said, chuckling.

Remus attempted to smile, but felt sick as he did so. His stomach churning, they walked back to the Gryffindor common room.

* * *

Remus sat on his bed, staring down at his calendar. He traced his finger over the frantic circle that had been drawn over a date. He glanced up at the clock on the wall. It was time to go now. The other Gryffindors would surely be at dinner by now. Sighing, he shoved the calendar back under his pillow and got to his feet. He stretched his aching limbs, than walked to the doorway. He made his way down the staircase and was headed for the portrait hole when he heard a voice.

"Remus, where are you going?" Sirius asked, getting up from his squishy chair in front of the common room fire.

Remus spun around, panicking. He thought back to the conversation that he had had with Dumbledore the day before. Sirius looked at him questionably.

"Er, I'm off to visit my mum, she's ill." He said, hoping it sounded convincing.

"Why have you got no luggage?" Sirius asked, raising his eyebrows.

"All of my things are at home." Remus said.

Sirius turned back around to the fire, muttering, "No need to get all defensive on me."

Remus flushed, but said, "Well, bye then."

He climbed out of the portrait hole, the Fat Lady grumbling about him waking her up. He made his way down the ever-changing staircases, stopping briefly outside the dining hall to meet Madam Pomfrey. Upon seeing him, she strode up and whapped him hard on the head. Remus felt an odd trickling sensation run down his body. She explained that she had cast a Dillusionment Charm on him.

They walked across the grounds and stood side-by-side in front of the Whomping Willow. Madam Pomfrey bustled around the tree, casting protective and muffling enchantments every few feet. Remus stood, invisible, dreading the future. He watched, horror-struck, as the sun slipped beneath the horizon. It would have been a spectacularly beautiful if he hadn't been so worried.

Once Madam Pomfrey was satisfied, she showed Remus the way to calm the tree. She levitated a littered branch and made it poke a knot at the base of the willow. The tree stopped fighting.

Madam Pomfrey pushed Remus down the small tunnel at the base of the tree. Remus looked around. He was in a small, empty room, with no windows. Madam Pomfrey slid down the tunnel, and landed on the floor with a small thump. Getting to her feet, she pointed out a closed door Remus had not previously noticed. She opened the door and ushered Remus out. They walked around the house, which only had three large, spacious rooms. Madam Pomfrey led him back to the room with the tunnel.

"Okay, Remus, it's time for me to go now. I am going to seal this passage way, so there's no way that you will accidentally get out. Tomorrow morning, I will remove the sealing charm and retrieve you. Does that sound alright to you?" She gave him a kind smile. Remus didn't particularly like being talked to like a child, but he didn't complain.

He was petrified with fear. He felt like he was going to be sick. He gave a short nod. Madam Pomfrey patted him once on the head, and, with one pitying glance, pulled herself up the tunnel and out onto the grounds. There was a large thump, and the remaining, fading light from the grounds was cut off. Remus was alone. He got up from the chair, and removed all of his clothing. He didn't want to destroy his school robes, but he knew that they would still probably be shredded tonight anyway. He shut himself inside the first room, and sat on the floor, cross-legged. He waited for the torture that was about to begin.

He felt it in his ears first. They popped, than became much clearer, so much that he could hear the quieted voices and clinking of plates coming from the castle. Suddenly, he could smell the food, and of course, the people. Remus took a deep breath, than looked at his hands. His fingers were lengthening, his nails growing into sharp claws. His back hunched, forcing him onto his hands and knees. His nose painfully extended. Gray fur sprouted everywhere, and Remus knew what was coming. He gave a long, sad howl and his mind was impassive.

* * *

Hundreds of miles away, Lyall and Hope Lupin sat around their fireplace, talking to the head in the fireplace. The room was dark, and the moonlight filtered in through the window.

Lyall leaned forward, speaking to Dumbledore's face.

"Is he there? At the shack? Is he okay?" Lyall said hopefully.

Dumbledore's eyes surveyed them, and he shook his head. He looked discouraged.

"Lyall, you know as much as I do. But I can tell you that Remus is an excellent student, and all of the teachers enjoy him. He had made friends." Dumbledore said.

Hope breathed a sigh of relief. Her son was fitting in. He had made friends.

A howl pierced the quiet sitting room. Hope whipped her head around, peering around, but there was nothing. She knew it had come from Dumbledore's end of the fire, but she couldn't stop herself from looking.

Dumbledore hung his head sadly. They all knew exactly who's howl that was, but no one acknowledged it. It was just too heartbreaking.

Lyall took a deep breath. It was late at night, and he and his wife needed to sleep.

"I cannot thank you enough, Dumbledore. Goodnight."

Dumbledore smiled, than withdrew his face from the fire.

Lyall splashed water on the flames, sending the room into total darkness. Hope let out a sob, and Lyall pulled her into his arms. They sat, each wondering what could possibly be happening to their son at that moment. They stayed that way until morning.

* * *

Remus awoke, in human form, at the hospital wing. A large curtain had been drawn around his bed, but the morning sun shone through it, hurting his eyes. He blinked, than removed his hands from underneath the covers. Both arms were heavily bandaged, and Remus whimpered in pain as fresh blood stained through them. He shifted underneath the blankets, and felt shooting pain in his ribcage. He winced, screwing up his face in pain. He lay still, and the pain faded. He took a deep breath.

"Remus? Remus, are you awake?" A girl's quiet whisper echoed around the room. Remus started, than turned to see who had called for him. He pulled back the curtains and peered around them.

Lily lay in the bed next to him, her nose the same color as her hair.

"Blimey, Lily, what happened to you?" Remus asked, too surprised to filter his bluntness.

Lily looked at him reproachfully.

"I could say the same for you, Remus." She said.

Remus searched his brain quickly, trying to come up with an excuse.

"I-I was at my parents'. Mum was ill, and they wanted me to go see her. And, yesterday, I-I fell, and so they brought me here. So, what happened to you?" Remus said, hoping it was believable.

Lily sniffed, than said,

"Flu. Madam Pomfrey is getting me Pepper-Up Potion, but she had to go brew a new batch. So I'm stuck here for today."

"Oh, Lily, I'm so sorry." Remus said, sounding like his old self for a moment.

"It's not your fault." Lily said, coughing.

Remus ducked back under the curtains as Madam Pomfrey swung past them, starting when she saw him staring at her.

"Goodness, Remus, you're awake!" She busied herself by pouring him a large glass of orange juice, then buttering the stack of toast she had been holding.

"How are you feeling?" She asked.

"Sore," he said, but he was distracted.

"Madam Pomfrey, how much did I break?" Remus whispered, hoping that he hadn't done irreversible damage.

"Nothing that we can't fix, Remus, so don't go about worrying yourself." She said in a quiet voice. Remus was sure that Lily wouldn't hear them talking.

Remus sighed a breath of relief, sinking back into the pillows.

He spent the next two days in the hospital wing, and when he was finally released, James, Sirius, and Peter were waiting for him in the common room. They didn't even ask what had happened to them; it looked as though Lily had already done that. They didn't seem to suspect a thing. Remus was safe. _Until next month_, he thought, already beginning to worry.

Remus pushed that thought to the back of his mind, and threw himself whole-heartedly into a game of Exploding Snap.

* * *

**Like this chapter? Leave me a review down below. **

**xx **

**bandeall **


	8. House Elves

"James! Come on!" Remus whispered, his words echoing in the long hallway.

Remus's eyes began to adjust to the darkness, but he couldn't see James anymore. Remus suspected that James might have brought the invisibility cloak. Remus couldn't comprehend why anyone in their right mind would give a person like James an invisibility cloak. What had his parents been thinking?

"Oh, come on Remus, don't be a prat, let's go!" Remus heard James whisper.

Remus whipped around, seeing nothing, but knowing that James was somewhere in the vicinity. He heard rustling, than saw a body-less head appeared out of nowhere. James's head was floating in mid-air, and he was silently laughing. Remus let out a sigh of relief. Sirius's head appearing next to James's, and he was also chuckling. Peter was crouched behind Remus, cautiously looking out. James pulled off the cloak, and he and Sirius's bodies came back into view.

"Amos said that it was this way." James said, pointing.

They began walking towards the fruit bowl painting at the end of the hallway. Remus jogged to keep up with them, wincing every so often at his sore muscles. He tripped, but quickly picked himself up off the floor before anyone could see. The darkness wasn't helping his coordination.

Remus had never snuck out of bed before. Sirius had insisted that he come along for this one; Amos Diggory, a fourth year, had told them how to enter the kitchens. James had decided that this called for a midnight excursion, and Remus nor Peter would be allowed to miss it. Remus was very worried about being caught by the caretaker, Apollyon Pringle. Pringle had a reputation for whopping students with canes when they misbehaved.

James stopped suddenly beneath a large fruit bowl painting. He extended one finger, and stroked the pear. It giggled loudly, than suddenly morphed into a green handle. James cautiously grabbed it, than pulled. He peeked inside, than immersed, grinning. They filed in past him, than looked around.

They were in a large room with high ceilings, towering cabinets. Pots and pans were stacked neatly against the walls, and there was a roaring fire on the far end. Four long tables, identical to the ones in the Great Hall, were placed in the middle of the room. Hundreds of house elves were standing around the stoves, steam clouding their faces. Fabric had been draped around their bodies, acting as clothing. The Hogwarts crest was stamped on the front. James coughed, and the house elves looked up in unison. At once, they bowed, exposing the top of their bald heads. One rushed forward, than kneeled at their feet.

"Master Potter, sir, and Masters Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew! How may Animal aid yous?" It said.

Remus decided not to ask how they knew his name. James looked extremely pleased.

"Well, Animal, we were wondering if you had anymore of that treacle tart from dinner." He said.

Animal looked overjoyed at the prospect of giving them food. "Certainly, sir!" He bowed once more, than ran off to the kitchens.

James turned to them, beaming. "Isn't this amazing? Amos wasn't kidding. They'll do anything that we want them to!" He said. Sirius's face twisted into a wicked smile when James brought to light that they were extremely willing.

Remus didn't approve of abusing the house elves' control, but he didn't want to say anything that would make them opposed to him. They had been friends for the entire school year, but Remus didn't want to put that in jeopardy. Remus knew that James and Sirius weren't the trustworthiest people, but they were both very clever. Remus could only hope that they knew when not to cross the line.

Sirius looked around, his brows furrowed. "Where's Peter?"

They glanced around, but found Peter quickly. He was crouched next to a couple of house elves that were handing over pasties. Peter was stuffing himself with sweets, but stopped once he met Remus's disapproving stare.

Animal returned, his arms overflowing with cakes and pies. The boys graciously accepted the food, and filled their pockets to the brim. Animal curtsied, and bustled back to the kitchen.

Once they could hold no more, they left, climbing up the great staircase. James withdrew the invisibility cloak, and they walked slowly to the Gryffindor tower, discussing summer plans. They had made arrangements to meet at the Potter mansion, and were all looking forward to it greatly. It was in the countryside, and James had told them about the open spaces to play Quidditch in. (Remus wasn't excited for the broom part- he was still frightened by them.) They entered the common room and collapsed into the squishy chairs by the fire. Remus got up to open a window, letting the warm June air wash over them. One by one, they each drifted off to sleep.

* * *

"We're nearly there." Remus said miserably, flopping backwards onto the stiff train seat.

The Hogwarts Express was slowly making its way through the country side, away from Hogwarts and towards the Muggle world. James and Peter were having a heated match of Exploding Snap, and somehow Peter was winning. (Remus suspected that James was letting him- James was very good at Exploding Snap.)

Sirius was fiddling with his jumper's zipper, looking stressed. Sirius's parents were extremely angry that Sirius had been sorted into Gryffindor. He had told Remus that his entire family had been Slytherin, and to his parents, he was a disappointment. Sirius kept saying that upon arriving home, he would be plastering Gryffindor posters to his walls with the Permanent Sticking Charm. (Remus had been practicing the charm with Sirius during lunch.)

Remus picked up a discarded chocolate frog card, and studied it. (The compartment was filled with candy- James had spared no expense for the sweets.) Remus had gotten Dumbledore's card. He read it fondly, remembering Dumbledore's pre-dinner speeches and odd tidbits. Remus knew that he would miss Hogwarts terribly.

With a screech, the train pulled to a stop. The boys got to their feet, and reached up to get their bags. They exited the train and stood in the pouring smoke. All around them, parents were rushing forward to hug their kids.

A gray-haired couple walked towards them, embracing James. He hugged them both, but looked embarrassed. Remus assumed that these people were James's parents; James had told them that his parents were a bit older than usual. The woman pulled herself off of her son, straightening her clothes. She didn't seem to notice that her glasses were askew.

"Dorea Potter. And this is my husband, Charlus." She said, pointing to the man.

Remus shook both of their hands. They seemed very welcoming. James introduced each of them, but was quickly whisked away. Remus saw James throw a glance at Lily as they passed her; she sniffed and turned her back on him.

"Remus!" Remus saw his parents jogging through the crowd.

They wrapped him in a hug, squeezing him uncomfortably. Through his mother's arm, he saw Sirius shoot him a mischievous look. Remus pried his parents off of him. He said goodbye to Sirius and Peter, and was almost to the barrier when he heard his name being called. He looked around, confused.

Lily was sprinting towards him, her blazing hair fanning out behind her. She stopped, breathing hard.

"Just . . . wanted . . . to say . . . bye." She said, coughing.

Lily reached up and hugged Remus. He was surprised, but she pulled away quickly and, with a backwards wave, ran back to her parents. Remus looked at his parents. His father was raising his eyebrows suggestively at him, and his mother looked surprised. Shaking his head at his father, he took his trolley. The Lupin family disappeared through the barrier.

* * *

**Here it is! This was meant to go up a few days ago, but my computer didn't save a part of it, so I had to rewrite. Oops :P**

**Next chapter will be up soon. It's gonna be a good one. **

**Like this chapter? Please leave me a review. I love it when you guys do that :) **

**xx**

**bandeall **


	9. Potter Mansion

Remus looked around his tiny room, making sure that he hadn't left any spare quills or parchment. His truck lay open on the bed, with robes and books spilling out of the top. The Lupins' had visited Diagon Alley, and Remus had gotten all of his new school things. It was still mid-August, but Remus wasn't going to be in the wizarding world for a few weeks.

James had invited Remus, Sirius, and Peter to Potter mansion for the rest of the break. The other boys had already arrived, but Remus's transformation had occurred on that day. They had been there for three days, but they had owled Remus to tell him that he hadn't missed anything. He was relieved.

Remus's father appeared in his doorway. He waved his wand once, and the remainder of Remus's trunk flew into place.

"Let's go." His father said, lugging the baggage out into the sitting room.

Remus's mother was already there, holding out a bandage. Remus went to the restroom, wincing as placed the new bandage over his cut. The glass had made a long scratch across his nose, and it hurt when he inhaled. Remus's last transformation had been his worst one yet. He had awoken with glass imbedded in every inch of his body. His wolfish self had gotten strong enough to shatter windows. Remus and his mother had spent the next morning painfully extracting the shards from his skin. Remus was covered in shallow cuts and scratches.

When he returned from the bathroom, his father was already inside the fireplace, with his mother waiting by the coffee table. Hope Lupin wrapped Remus in a tight hug, kissing his brown hair.

"Be safe. Owl us after the transformation, okay, sweetheart?" She said, sniffing.

Remus told his mother that he loved her, than extracted himself from her grasp and joined his father in the fireplace.

"Potter Mansion!" His father bellowed, and the sitting room spun out of view.

When the spinning finally stopped, Remus and his father tumbled out of the fireplace, coughing. When they finally got to their feet, they were covered in ash. They were in what looked like a library. Large bookcases touched the ceiling, all packed with books. A gigantic mahogany desk was placed in the corner, with massive piles of paper stacked upon it. Lyall looked around, amazed. Neither father nor son had ever seen a house so large. Remus was fairly certain that his entire house could fit inside this room.

There was a loud crash, a peal of laughter, and then the thud of footsteps. The door swung open, and James came into the room. Sirius and Peter followed him.

"Remus! Finally! We were beginning to think that you were ditching us." James said, chuckling.

Remus shook his head bashfully, hoping that they knew that he could never abandon them. As much as he didn't like to admit it, his three friends were much too precious to him.

A man peeked through the crack in the door; Remus recognized him as James's father. Charlus Potter entered the room, shaking hands with Lyall.

"Remus, come on, let's go." James said, clearly antsy to get out of the library.

Remus turned and gave his father a fleeting hug, than raced up the marble staircase with James. They ran down a long hallway, and suddenly turned into James's room.

His bedroom was huge. A mammoth four-poster bed was set in the middle of the room, with scarlet bed covers. James had covered the walls with Quidditch posters, and Gryffindor colors. Remus felt overwhelmed. Along one wall, there was a large window, with an amazing view out onto the countryside.

James waited for Remus to put away his trunk, but quickly rushed them down to the garden. He wanted to play Quidditch, now that they had even teams. They stopped by the shed, were James distributed brooms. They walked awkwardly to the field, where makeshift goals had been set up. Mounting their brooms, (Remus being extremely cautious), they flew about, James and Remus against Peter and Sirius. James, of course, was Chaser, and Remus keeper. Remus didn't think that this was a very good idea, him being terrified of the ball, but James insisted.

They played throughout the afternoon, stopping only to eat dinner. When they finally filed in, muddy and exhausted, they collapsed into their air mattresses, falling asleep instantly.

Remus grew to love Potter Mansion. They would eat a delicious breakfast prepared by Mrs. Potter, than would spend the day exploring the nearby town. They were forbidden to use magic, but made the best of it. After they couldn't stand the hunger anymore, they would troop back to the house to consume their dinners before heading out to play Quidditch. When night fell, they would escape inside to drink hot chocolate and, somehow, would always fall asleep in front of the blazing fire.

Remus was content.

* * *

Two weeks later, they found themselves being hurried into the car, bags packed. September first seemed to have come much too early that summer. King's Cross Station was busy, and it took no time to slip into the barrier.

Platform 9 3/4 was bustling, and James was snickering quietly at the tiny first-years. They wished Mr. and Mrs. Potter goodbye, thanking them for their care. They accepted graciously, giving them each sandwiches in return.

The boys boarded the train, settling into a compartment towards the front. The train pulled away gracefully, leaving the Muggle world.

Remus couldn't have been happier to be returning to Hogwarts. The train slowly chugged across the fields, the sky darkening behind it. The students laughed and chattered as they saw their friends. Frank and Alice stopped by to say hello with Lily, but their conversation quickly when James made a rude joke about Snapes's robes. (Lily had huffed at him and left.)

Remus felt happy. He was going home. The place where no one would judge him. Where no one knew his deadly secret. He was extremely surprised when the train stopped; it felt like they had only been on the train for a few minutes. They stretched, than joined the crowd going towards the door. Jumping out of the train, they were hit with a burst of cold wind. Instead of going to the boats, like last year, they were herded towards carriages. The carriages weren't being pulled by anything, Remus realized. The creatures must be invisible. Frank and Alice joined them in a carriage, and they engaged in a light conversation.

Remus peered out of the window, ignoring the talk, waiting to see the castle. When it finally came into view, Remus felt himself relax.

They exited the carriages, than walked up to the castle. They were hurried into the Great Hall, and immediately sat at the Gryffindor table. There was quiet chatter until Dumbledore hushed them. Behind them, the first years filled in.

Remus stared at his empty plate, wishing for the sorting ceremony to begin. Oh, why hadn't he eaten Mrs. Potter's sandwich on the train? He knew that below him, house elves were slaving away, filling the table below with food. The very thought of so much food made his mouth water. But, he also knew that he was feeling overly hungry because of his upcoming transformation.

He watched painfully as a flock of new Gryffindors were sorted and took their seats.

Above him, Dumbledore rose to his feet, clearing his throat. "Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! I would like to introduce our new Defense against the Dark Arts teacher, Miss Merrythought." He pointed to a sallow-skinned woman, with a towering bun and mustard yellow robes. "Let us begin the feast. Pippitiy! Joffy!"

All around Remus, people chucked from Dumbledore's odd speech. Dumbledore raised his hands, and the golden plates were suddenly filled with a massive amount of food. Remus filled his plate with everything that he could reach; steaks, potatoes, and chicken.

* * *

The hum of conversation died down as Dumbledore replaced the dinner with sweets, and after they had their fill, they were escorted up to the Gryffindor common room. Remus collapsed onto his scarlet bed covers, letting himself sink into the mattress. He pulled out his pyjamas from his trunk (which had been placed next to his bed), and dressed in them.

Once the rest of the Gryffindor boys had changed, they sat up in their beds, talking about their summers. Frank had visited France with his parents, and had spent the holiday relaxing. James had bought a large bag of Zonko's sweets, which he now pulled out. They passed the bag around, taking turns with the morphing ones. Remus was rewarded with two large steam clouds coming out of his ears. James and Frank got a strange one that made them bark at each other; Sirius was convulsing with laughter at this one. Once their stomachs hurt with laughter, they retired to bed, but every so often, someone would let out a quiet chuckle.

Remus couldn't think of a place he would rather be.

* * *

**I was going to wait until tomorrow to upload this, but in honor of Remus's birthday being today (March 10), I thought I'd just go ahead and do it now. **

**Can you guess what's going to happen next? It's going to change Remus's life-forever. **

**Like this chapter? Leave me a review. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed! I love it when you guys do that :P **

**xx**

**bandeall **


	10. Remus's Secret

Remus looked up from his book, wincing as he moved his leg.

He was in the hospital wing; the previous night had been his transformation, and he had awoken with a broken leg and foot. Normally, Madam Pomfrey would have mended the bones in a moment, but his body wouldn't respond to her treatments. The wounds from his transformation would have to heal naturally.

Suddenly, there were the sounds of quiet footsteps, and Remus could tell that there was someone in the wing with him. He couldn't imagine why; it was dinner hour, and Madam Pomfrey had left him with his books so she could eat. He drew the curtains closer around his bed, but buried his nose back into his book.

"Madam Pomfrey?" Someone whispered.

Remus froze. It hadn't been his imagination. Why would a student be in here? Would they see him?

There was no response to the murmured question, and the footsteps got louder. Were they coming towards him? Remus peeked over the top of the curtains, falling backwards onto his pillow the second he saw who it was. He could only see the tops of their heads, but their identity was unmistakable.

James's black mop of hair was two beds away, and Remus could see them checking behind the curtains. Little Peter was standing by the hospital entrance, making sure that no one would be interrupting them. Sirius was following James cautiously. Remus frantically flipped pages in his book, realizing a second too late how noisy the paper was.

"Remus? Remus, where are you?" Sirius whispered.

Remus couldn't escape. His leg was bound beneath the covers, insuring that he wouldn't damage it further. But that meant that he couldn't get out without help. While he didn't know why, he knew that they were here for him. How could they have possibly known that he would be here? Did they know his secret? This could only mean the worst.

Remus nearly jumped out of his skin when the curtain around his bed whipped open and James's head came into view. His eyes swept over Remus's broken leg, his hazel eyes widening. He gave Remus a quick glance, than withdrew his head and waved Sirius and Peter over.

Together, and without Remus's permission, dragged the curtain away from the bed. The sunset blinded Remus, making him blink furiously. When his eyes adjusted, he saw that they had pulled chairs up to the bed, waiting for him to speak. Remus didn't say a word.

"So, do you have fleas?" Sirius said, barely suppressing a grin.

Remus was taken aback. Why would he have fleas? What kind of question was that?

"Excuse me?" Remus said, hoping his confusion was clear in his voice.

"Or did you get flea shots? Do wolves even get fleas?" Sirius said questioningly, looking at James.

James shrugged.

Remus felt like he couldn't breathe. Wolves? They wouldn't be asking about wolves unless . . . It couldn't be. He had been so diligent with his excuses! But, if they did know, they wouldn't be here. They would have abandoned him the moment they found out. So they couldn't know.

Sirius opened his mouth, most likely to make another joke, but James cut him off with a shake of his head.

"How's your grandmother, Remus?" James asked, looking Remus straight in the eye.

The previous night, Remus had told them that his grandmother had died and that's why he was going home.

"She's dead." Remus said, hanging his head.

"Is that so? Because, Remus, that's the fifth time your grandmother has died." James said in a rush. It seemed he had wanted to say this for a long time.

Remus didn't dare to look up. Had he really forgotten to make up new lies? He hated lying to his friends, and he tended to re-use the fibs as often as possible.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Remus said, picking up his book and staring at the front cover. He didn't want to make eye contact anymore.

"Yes, you do. You're a werewolf." Sirius said, cutting James off. Sirius's gray eyes sparkled with excitement.

Remus's breath hitched. He felt like he had a fist blocking his windpipe, making it impossible to speak. His heartbeat increased, and he could hear blood rushing in his ears. This couldn't be happening. Remus felt himself drop the heavy book awkwardly onto his lap, exposing his face. He could feel their eyes on him.

"I'm not." He said, his voice breaking in the middle.

Sirius rolled his eyes. Peter's eyes never left the floor.

"Yes, you are. There's no other possible explanation. You get yourself injured more than humanly possible, and Madam Pomfrey is never able to mend your wounds. You always get headaches, you eat like a dog, and you are as jumpy as hell. You get impatient and sickly following the moon cycle. You get taken to your parents' every month around the same time. You're not going to your parents', it would be too dangerous. You're probably taken away from the castle, to somewhere safe. Always around the full moon. It's the only explanation. You've got lycanthropy." James said, speaking slowly, as to let him take it all in.

James was giving Sirius a I-told-you-so look, and Peter was eyeing the clock across the hall.

"I'm not." Remus said, but he knew that there would be no convincing them otherwise.

"Here we go." Sirius said, leaning back in his chair.

James was fiddling with his tie.

"You are." James said, with an air on finality.

"Why are you still here than, if you're so certain?" Remus said, a burst of courage exploding within him.

Sirius snorted, than said, "Don't be dramatic, Remus. You're the only person we know who folds their socks. Forgive us if we're not positively trembling at the sight of you." James nodded, agreeing with Sirius.

"But I'm a monster! I could kill you!" Remus said, unable to keep it in.

James looked up. "You're not a monster, Remus. You just have a . . . furry little problem. Nothing unmanageable." He said.

Remus buried his face in his hands. They couldn't possibly think that this wasn't a big deal. He had admitted to being a werewolf. Why weren't they shaking in fear, like so many had before them?

"How long have you known?" Remus said, the feeling of dread filling his stomach.

"End of last year." James said, clearly wanting to answer all Remus's questions.

Remus couldn't believe it. They had known since last year, but still invited him to spend holiday with them. They hadn't treated him any different. It seemed that even Peter wasn't frightened, but Remus had a sneaking suspicion that he was slightly scared now.

"Are you afraid?" Remus whispered, knowing that this was the only question he really needed the answer too. He raised his face enough for them to see his eyes. They shook their heads.

"Actually, mate, we think it's kind of cool. Not many people can say that they know a werewolf!" Sirius said.

Remus didn't point out that the only reason that no one said that was because they had all been attacked by the respective werewolves upon the discovery.

"We've thought of a way to stay with you during your transformation!" James said, but held up a hand to stop Remus's horrified expression. "Remember what McGonagall did during our first Transfiguration lesson last year? When she turned herself into a cat? Well, that's called being an Animagus. If we could do that, we could come with you! You see, werewolf bites don't affect animals. We would be perfectly safe. There's nothing problematic about this idea."

Remus could think of a million problematic things with this, but he didn't have time to voice them.

Madam Pomfrey had returned from dinner. When she saw the boys, she gasped and walked to Remus's bedside. Her face was bright red.

"Potter! Black! Pettigrew! OUT!" She shouted.

They cowered underneath her gaze, wincing as the volume of her yells hit their ears. Grabbing their bags, they sprinted for the door. When it slammed behind them, Madam Pomfrey spun on Remus.

"I can only assume . . . that they know the truth. This is out of my hands. Professor Dumbledore will be here shortly." She said, taking deep breaths, than drawing her wand.

She adjusted Remus's bedcovers before getting up to unlock the hospital door for Dumbledore.

He glided in gracefully after her, closing the door softly behind him. He walked slowly to Remus, a small smile on his face. He sat lofty on the bed next to Remus, resting his frail hands on his lap.

"Your friends were waiting outside for you. They are so sorry to disturb you. They assured me the moment they saw me that they would keep this a secret and that they hadn't meant to do any harm. I have dismissed them to the Gryffindor common room, where I'm sure they will await your arrival." Dumbledore said.

Remus bawked. He hadn't known that they had waited for him. His friends continued to surprise him more and more.

"But, Professor, they know. They know what I am!" Remus said, sure that he would receive some sort of punishment.

Dumbledore smiled. "Aren't you pleased, Remus? Your friends can finally understand you."

Remus flushed; he hadn't meant to sound ungrateful.

"No, I'm thankful, but isn't it dangerous for them?" He said, choosing to leave out the part about the Animagi.

"Only if you let them put themselves in a place where it would be unsafe." Dumbledore said, effectively ending the conversation.

Remus stared at his book.

"Ah, Remus, I will instruct Madam Pomfrey to let you attend the rest of the feast tonight." Dumbledore said, getting up from the bed.

He walked to the door, where Madam Pomfrey was standing, watching. They exchanged a few words, and then Madam Pomfrey let Dumbledore out.

* * *

Remus fixed his Gryffindor tie, making sure it hung over his robes. The robes barely covered the bulky cast, but it was the best that Madam Pomfrey could do.

Dumbledore had insisted that Remus was allowed out, so she had to use a strange Muggle method. He was hobbling around on plastic sticks, supporting his weight by switching feet. Remus recognized the sticks as crutches. He made his way towards the door.

He was ushered out of the hospital wing, and slowly making his way down the hall when he saw them.

James, Sirius, and Peter were sitting side-by-side against the wall outside the Great Hall, seeming waiting for him. When they saw him coming, they stood, brushing off their trousers. They seemed nervous.

"Look-" Sirius began, but Remus cut him off.

"It's fine. Let's just go to dinner, alright?" They nodded, and watched as Remus limped towards the Gryffindor table.

Remus sat with his leg stuck out at an awkward angle, but he didn't pay attention to it. He was too hungry.

The dinner disappeared, and dessert replaced it, but Remus ate his fill.

As the rest of school trickled out of the Hall, the Marauders (that's what they had taken to calling themselves) watched in amazement as he ate more and more. Soon, they were sitting alone. James was readying himself to make a speech.

"Remus, we don't have to do the animal thing, it's just that we don't want you to be alone, and suffering." He said, looking at Remus the entire time. Remus knew that James was playing up the good-boy image to get what he wanted, but didn't mind.

Remus swallowed his mouthful of treacle tart; considering his options. He was already in jeopardy of loosing his friends, no matter what they said. He couldn't deify them of this; if he didn't, it might make them end their friendship with him.

"You can try, but it's extremely complicated magic, and it will take us a long time to master." Remus said, not wanting to give them false hope.

Remus had looked Animagi up after McGonagall's lesson. The magic was outrageous and dangerous. Peter looked up at Sirius hopefully, and James exchanged a smile with didn't push it for the rest of the evening. Remus didn't want to keep talking about the transformation.

Instead, he brought up the subject of Quidditch trials. They were next week, and James could hardly wait. As Remus listened to James talk about Chasers and snitches, he looked up at the ceiling, marvelling at the beauty of the stars. Everything was going to be okay.

* * *

**The Marauders finally know the big secret! Let the fun begin. Haha :P **

**Like this chapter? Leave me a review down below. Thanks to everyone who has left me a review! I love it when you guys do that :) **

**I'll be updating next on Sunday. I want to get a really good chapter ready! **

**xx**

**bandeall **


	11. Potter's Boggart

"Come on, Peter, let's go! We're going to be late!" Remus said, tapping his foot impatiently.

James and Sirius were in the middle of a heated match of wizard's chess, and Peter was watching, eating jellybeans addictively. Remus glanced over in time to see Sirius's king crush James's queen. Remus was slightly disturbed on how brutal this game was.

"Defense Against the Dark Arts starts in five minutes!" Remus said, putting his book back into his bag.

James stretched, than got to his feet. He reached behind the chair and retrieved his book bag, than joined Remus by the portrait hole. Peter stuffed the box into his robes, and waited until Sirius had stood before they proceeded to the classroom. They ran down the moving staircases, Remus huffing. Laughing, they joined up with the crowd outside.

"Third years! This way, please!" Professor Beery said, pushing the mass of students through the door and into the classroom.

They stared around in wonder at the classroom. The usual tables had been pushed to the side of the room, and in the very center, there was a large dresser full of cabinets. Every couple of seconds, the dresser would rattle violently (Sirius was eyeing the cabinet with a mischievous look).

Beery shoved through the crowd, than straightened his robes before speaking.

"Today, we will be facing Boggarts. Boggarts are shape-shifters. They will become the form of whatever will scare you most. Now, Boggarts like dank, dark places. I found this one in the dungeons, and I have decided to let you tackle them. You can defeat Boggarts by finding their weakness. To do this, you must think of a way to make whatever that scares you most funny. Laughter is the only way to truly conquer a Boggart. You will need one charm. Repeat after me, please. 'Riddikilus!'"

The class shouted the charm back.

Beery clapped his small hands together, and waved James forwards. The dresser rattled. It sounded like something was trapped inside.

James walked through the crowd, wand already out. He looked extremely cautious.

Beery pointed his wand at the cabinets, and, with a burst of light, it swung open. Remus couldn't imagine what James would be afraid of. Nothing could have readied him for what he saw.

Two bodies appeared on the ground, face down. Remus recognized them as James's parents, but they disappeared as another fear was picked up on.

Another body tumbled out of the dresser, landing with a smack on the ground, clearly dead. It lay, eagle-spread, face turned away from them, but facing James. Its long, red hair was tangled and unkempt.

The class simultaneously moved forward to see who it could possibly be. Remus was first to see. The room went quiet. There was a scream as they recognized the face. Remus felt like the breath had been stolen out of his lungs.

It was Lily. Her delicate features were limp, and Remus had never seen her ever look like this. Remus's eyes flicked up to James.

James had crouched into a ball next to Lily, shaking her shoulders madly. James's voice was filled with panic, and his hazel eyes seemed to have lost their light.

James cried out. "Lily! Lily, please!" He said, his usually confident demeanor shrunken and replaced with hysteria.

Professor Beery was frozen, clutching to the desk.

Remus felt a warm hand on his wrist, and a slight tug. He tore his eyes away from Lily. He felt himself being pulled backwards, and suddenly, he was behind the Ravenclaws and Gryffindors. He looked to see who had needed him.

The real Lily was kneeled on the ground, clearly traumatized. Remus vaguely remembered Lily standing next to him before James had faced the Boggart. He guessed that she had hidden once she had seen her own dead body. Remus realized how frightening that would be.

He dropped to his knees, squatting next to Lily.

Her face was pale, and she had a hand clapped to her stomach. Her green eyes were wild, and they stared up at Remus.

"Was that really me?" She asked, her voice barely fathomable.

Remus gave a short, quick nod.

Lily nodded, pushing a strand of hair that had escaped her bun back. She breathed heavily, but didn't release Remus's arm.

"How can his worst fear be me dying?" Lily said, her words catching.

Remus pondered over this. Was this really James's worst fear? He could only imagine how James would have felt in that moment. It was beyond James's maturity to be terrified of the one he loved dying, but somehow, James had accomplished this.

Lily took a deep breath, and climbed to her feet. Sirius appeared in their vision, and he looked at Remus quickly. Remus nodded.

Lily withdrew her arm from Remus's grasp, and pushed her way to the front. People looked relived when they saw the real Lily alive and well, but looked back at James.

James was still next to the Boggart Lily, his mop of black hair only visible.

The real Lily walked slowly up to James, crouching next to him. Her mouth moved, but they couldn't hear her. She seemed to want only James to hear these words.

James didn't move.

Lily pulled James's face up, forcing him to see her. She clutched the sides of his face, making him focus on her words. She said something to him, and he rose to his feet slowly. He walked numbly towards them, and he looked dazed.

Professor Beery stepped in, seemingly returning to his senses.

"Longbottom- you next." Beery said, one eye on James.

Frank walked forward, looked worried.

Lily's body disappeared, and was replaced with a spinning ball of light. It flashed reds and blues for a moment, before stabilizing to its final form.

A cobra lay in a pile, hissing. It slithered forward towards Frank, making him jump back in surprise.

"Riddikilus!" Frank said, wand extended.

The snake practically spat in anger, but couldn't move. It seemed to have been glued to the floor, and it tried to wiggle free without release. Frank laughed at the struggle, and the snake suddenly disappeared again.

Frank moved out of the way, and Alice took his place.

James remained in a dumbfounded state.

When the class ended, it looked as though he was back to normal.

As they walked out of the classroom, he called out to Lily.

"Evans! I- I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I was being stupid. I'm sorry, . . .Lily." James said.

Lily turned to look at him. She had a strange expression on her face, one that Remus hadn't ever seen before. It wasn't pity, and it wasn't a look of disgust. It was truly a look of kindness.

"Don't worry about it, James. It's okay." Lily said, looking like she wished that she could say more.

She bit her lip, but turned on her heel and walked out.

James reached up to ruffle his hair, and Sirius clapped him on the back. Even Sirius seemed to know not to push it. No one even mentioned the fact that James had used Lily's real name.

* * *

As the day passed, Remus noticed that every so often, he would catch James staring at Lily, checking to make sure that she was still there. Lily noticed, but she didn't say a word. It seemed that she was being excessively kind to James. It was sure to be short-lived, but Remus enjoyed the peace while he could.

It occurred to Remus, late at night, that James might not be as childish as he had assumed.

* * *

**Okay, I am so, so sorry that it took me so long to update! Don't hate me! I also will be gone for spring break for a week, so don't freak out if there isn't a new chapter for a little while. I will try to get something ready, but I can't guarantee. Sorry for the short chapter! **

**Like this chapter? Leave me a review down below. I love it when you guys do that :P Thanks to everyone who has previously reviewed! **

**xx, **

**bandeall**


	12. Hogsmeade & the cold, hard truth

Snow flurried around their heads, burrowing underneath their scarfs and chilling them to the bone. The ice crunched as the third years walked, and they chattered excitedly as they hurried down the brick pathway.

Sirius leaned over, ripped Remus's hat off of his head, and pulled it down over his own eyes. Remus made a lunge for the hat, but Sirius scuttled out of his reach. Remus snatched it back, shaking the snowflakes from his mousy-brown hair. He shoved the Gryffindor hat back down on his head, laughing. Everyone was clearly in high spirits.

Today would be the third years' second trip to Hogsmeade (James, Remus, Sirius, and Peter had missed the first due to detention- James had practiced the Bat-Bogey hex on Snape, and McGonagall had decided that they shouldn't go with the group). Remus had heard the others talking about the shops last time, and had listened in fascination as they raved about them. He couldn't have been happier to actually be going.

Lily walked in front of them, her red hair peeking out from underneath her cap. James grinned, than reached forward and tapped her on the shoulder.

"What, Potter?" Lily said, a hint of irritation present in her voice.

"So, how about you join me for a butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks?" James said, ruffling his jet-black hair.

"Not a chance." Lily said, turning away from James and walking back to Alice.

"She'll say yes next time," said James, his crestfallen expression quickly replaced with an excited one. Remus seriously doubted that she would, but didn't voice this.

Remus pulled his scarf tighter around his neck, jogging to keep up with the others. The cold wind was biting on his lungs, but cooled the scratch that outlined his jawbone.

The group turned the corner, and Hogsmeade suddenly came into full view.

Hogsmeade was a quaint little wizarding town, with identical cottages lining the cobblestone roads. Shops were woven in and out of streets, with bright advertisements brightening the otherwise bland color scheme. Remus wished that his mother could be here, for he knew that she would be utterly speechless at this clear example of wizardry. Behind them, mountains obscured the horizon, but gave the sense that this was a secure community. Snow covered the shop roofs, bathing the village in reflected sunlight. It was a very beautiful place.

Remus gasped as they turned a corner, and a battered house came into view. It was about a mile away, but Remus was positive on what it was.

It was _his_ house. The place that he went when he was dangerous. There was no way to conceal the smashed windows, the horror that radiated out of the house's very existence. He was sure that his face was a mask of fright, and carefully rearranged his expression before anyone could question him. _It's just a house_, he tried to tell himself. It wouldn't bite.

Beside him, Lily whispered, "That's the Shrieking Shack! It's supposed to be the most haunted building in Britain!"

Remus knew that Dumbledore had spread rumors around the village, telling the people that the new house was cursed with violent spirits. Remus was sure that this was just to conceal the traumatic noises that came from that house during his transformation. He knew that he should be glad that they clearly didn't have any idea what really was going on, but he found that he just couldn't make himself.

He glanced over to his friends, only to see that each of their expressions where carefully concealed behind a mask of calm. He had shared the information of where he went during the transformation with them, and he knew that they knew exactly what they were looking at. James caught Remus's eye, than turned away from Lily and the Shrieking Shack.

"Let's go to Honeyduke's, shall we?" James said, giving Peter a look as they left.

Remus scrunched the hat down to his eyebrows, forcing his bangs down into his eyes. He knew that he was unnecessarily wallowing in his own self-pity, and tried to shake off the bad mood. He focused on the ground below him, and was thoroughly surprised when he looked up to see a bright storefront, one that had blaring letters reading, 'Honeydukes'.

The front displayed a large jar of sweets, all of which moved at some point. (Remus usually liked to stay away from moving candy. It was hard to enjoy your chocolate frog if you felt guilty for eating it while it was still squirming.)

Remus followed Frank Longbottom into the store, absent-mindedly holding the door open for Lily as she climbed the wooden steps. He stepped inside the shop, and was immediately hit with a blast of warm air. He stripped off his mittens, and tucked them away before focusing his attention on the many shelves in front of him.

Barrels upon barrels labeled, 'confectionaries' lined the walls, all overflowing with candy and jellies. Over by the back wall, large blue bubbles were flying out of Alice Prewett's mouth as she chewed Droobles Best Blowing Gum. Peter was giggling as he poked a levitating Fizzing Whizbee, and Sirius was carefully sampling a blood-flavored lollipop (Remus couldn't imagine why Sirius wanted to taste this-they were made for vampires, and were supposedly revolting). The shop was crowded with Hogwarts students, and the staff was running around frantically, refilling trays quickly as they ran out.

There was a sharp squeal as a third-year Ravenclaw girl tripped in front of Remus's eyes, spilling her satchel full of golden Galleons. Acting upon instinct, Remus knelt, collecting the coins that had fallen underneath the shelves. The Ravenclaw girl blushed, her blue eyes forgiving. She reached up to tuck a lock of her blond hair back underneath her hat, and smiled at him. Remus couldn't help noticing that she was really quite pretty.

"Sorry, I'm so clumsy. Thank you." She said, retrieving the money from Remus's outstretched hand.

"I'm Mary," She said, reaching out to shake his hand.

"Remus." He said, smiling.

"Have you seen the Ice Mice? They make you squeak!" Mary said, gesturing to the box of sweets that had been mounted to the wall with a grin.

They stood up, and Remus found himself chattering aimlessly about school with her as they walked around the store. They past James and Sirius a few times, but Remus tried to diffuse their mischievousness before it got out of hand. He saw James nudge Sirius and snicker, Remus tried to ignore them. He found that he actually was enjoying himself. Remus took a deep breath, savoring the buzzing, warm feeling that was filling his body.

* * *

They walked around the shop for about a half hour, but Mary wanted to leave.

"Ooh, let's go to the Shrieking Shack! I've heard that it's super interesting!" Mary suggested.

Remus froze, feeling his body tense as he stopped. "No. I think I have to go, actually." He said, his face growing warm.

Mary stared at his hateful expression, her eyes searching his. He shifted his gaze to her feet, so she couldn't see the sadness filling his eyes.

"Alrightly, than. I guess I'll see you around, Remus. 'Bye." Mary said.

In an attempt to regain whatever politeness he could, he raised his hand in a pitiful goodbye. She smiled at him, but pushed the door open and entered the blizzard outside.

The moment she disappeared from view, Remus turned away, his breath hitching in his throat. What was he doing? So what, he liked her, but it wouldn't matter. Nothing could ever happen with anyone. He could never lead someone on like that. Remus's mind whirled as he imagined it.

Remus knew that he would never marry, never have children. He couldn't ever damn anyone to the life that he lived. He couldn't do that to a defenseless child. His condition would make him too difficult to ever have a life with. No mother would want their child around him, even if he was the father. Remus would endanger them too much.

What if he passed his sickness onto his own baby? Would they survive the transformation? What if during his own transformation, he somehow got out of his safe room and killed them both? No woman would ever want him, anyway. No one in their right mind would put themselves in such direct danger. He wouldn't let him. He couldn't let himself hurt anyone in that way. So why was he doing this to himself?

He told himself to get over it, and forced himself to keep walking, and to keep his head down. That life was impossible. Sure, he could want it, but he had to accept that it would never happen. The sadness that filled his mind threatened to explode.

He felt something on his shoulder through his coat, and quickly reached up to wipe away any water that had escaped from his eyes. He turned to see James and Sirius standing side-by-side behind him, their arms crossed and identical grins on their faces, waiting for an explanation about Mary.

"So." Sirius said, biting his lip to keep from laughing.

"Shut up." Remus mumbled, chuckling under his breath in spite of his foul mood.

James and Sirius burst into laughter, their howls of joy bouncing of every surface. When they finally surfaced, their eyes filled with tears from laughing, Remus had taken refuge with a book against the wall. He looked up at them, his blue eyes expectant. He had calmed himself, for now.

"Who was that?" James asked, readjusting his glasses.

"Mary. It doesn't matter; nothing's going to happen. Let's go." Remus said, snapping his book shut with a thud.

Remus stalked out of the shop, but his sense of direction was off because of the identical buildings. They all looked the same!

Suddenly, Peter pointed to a small shop, pulling him along with him. Sirius and James followed, wrapping their faces with their scarfs.

They reached the door, and Remus found himself in a tiny pub called the Three Broomsticks. A busty waitress walked around, talking orders from the overflowing tables. The place was full of Hogwarts students.

"Four butterbeers, please." James said to the waitress, who nodded and strode off.

James surveyed the pub, than walked over to an open booth. He sat down, and the rest did too. Remus sat next to James, watching as the waitress delivered their foaming drinks. Remus reached out and chugged his, enjoying the hot liquid as it burned his throat. It was delicious.

He felt a bit better as they joked and laughed, getting ready to go to Zonko's, the joke shop. He wrapped himself back up in his Gryffindor attire, preparing to be cold.

Remus stepped outside, a plan forming in his mind.

"Hey, guys? Do you mind if I meet up with you in a half hour? I don't really feel in the mood to go to Zonko's." Remus said, pointing to another shop across the way.

The boys nodded, then preceded on their way towards the joke shop.

Remus walked over the shop, pulling open the brass doorknob. He took a deep breath, than walked inside, already comforted. He was in an unfamiliar bookstore, one with towering cabinets and thousands of books. Smiling, Remus pulled a book down from the wall and opened it, already looking forward to the next twenty minutes of bliss. He could finally escape the reality that had haunted his mind.

* * *

**Aw, Remey, you made me cry! Sorry for the downer chapter. ****Next chapter will be more upbeat, okay?** I love you all the same, though, Remus. 

**Like this chapter? Leave me a review down below. Thank you to everyone who has already reviewed! I love it when you guys do that :P **

**xx**

**bandeall **


	13. The Room of Requirement

"You'll never believe what just happened!" Peter said, breathless.

Remus whipped around, startled by the sudden noise. James and Sirius looked up from their game. Remus had thought the rest of the fourth years had gone to bed.

"I was hiding from Pringle, and I ran into this weird room! There were tons and tons of books, and so many brooms, and . . ." Peter said, unable to form sentences over his excitement.

"Excellent. Let's go check it out." James said, getting up from his chair.

"What? Why?" Remus asked, stretching. It was late, and he wanted nothing more than to go to sleep.

"I'm bored." Said James, reaching into his bag to get the Invisibility cloak.

"Fine." Remus said, knowing well that James wouldn't let him go to bed unless he came with them.

* * *

"Ow! Sirius, that was my foot!" Remus whispered, adjusting the Invisibility cloak. He was positive that their feet where currently visible, and struggled to cover them up.

"Peter, where are we going? This is ridiculous." James mumbled, swearing loudly as he stumbled over his robes.

"I promise, we're almost there. It's up by the tapestry of the trolls." Peter said, concentrating on the floor below him, trying not to trip.

Peter slipped out from underneath the cloak, surveying the area quickly before proceeding. He stopped momentarily in front of the wall across from the tapestry, before briskly walking back to them. He walked past the wall three times, before the wall began to contort.

Twisted metal immersed from the wall, morphing into a rounded door. With a popping sound, brass handles pushed through the wall, completing the entry. Outside, the waning moon threw beads of light at them, illuminating the corridor.

Sirius's eyes widened, his mouth dropping open.

"Peter," Sirius breathed, "You're a genius."

Peter grinned, looking extremely pleased with himself. His small, quivering hand reached out, grasping the handles and pulling it open.

James pulled the cloak off of them, stuffing it into his pocket. Sirius walked forward, following Peter into the dark room. James followed, looking at Peter with renewed respect.

"Nice job, mate." Remus said numbly, patting Peter on the shoulder as he passed.

They were in the exact same place that Peter had described. The room was dark, but was shocked into light when the candles flickered on. The walls stretched up to the tall ceiling, which was beautifully intricate. Thousands upon thousands of books lined the walls, creating towers of knowledge. Discarded items were strewn across the floor, leaving a clear path.

Sirius immediately rushed over to a stack of brooms, and Peter followed in his direction, staring at a tiara that was placed precariously on a statue. James, however, was staring intently at a mirror that was directly in his line of vision. He walked over to it, cocking his head. Remus followed.

James stopped in front of it, his grimace morphing into a pleasant smile. His eyes glazed over, he sighed.

Remus stared at James, his eyebrows raised.

James's suddenly stepped away from the mirror, shaking his head. "Impossible," he muttered, running his hand through his rumpled hair.

"Did you see that?" James asked Remus, a hint of craziness in his eyes. Remus shook his head. Remus didn't see anything he wasn't supposed to- all he saw was his own puzzled expression and James's lovey one.

"I saw . . . I saw me. With Lily. I look older, and so does she. I'm holding . . .a baby. I was kissing Lily's forehead, and the baby-he looked just like me." James said, staring into the mirror at a different angle. His eyebrows were bunched in confusion.

"Here, you look." James said, pointing to the spot where he was previously standing.

Remus, questioning James's sanity, looked into the mirror. He felt light-headed as his reflection moved.

The mirror Remus reached into his back pocket, pulling out a calendar. Remus could see a red circle outlining a date, and saw his reflection lean back to look out of the open window. With a start, Remus realized that mirror Remus was bathed in moonlight, but was still smiling at him. It was the full moon, but he wasn't a wolf. He was perfectly normal.

What did this mirror do? Did it show the future? What was going on? And, most importantly, was he going insane?

Remus stepped to the right, and the vision instantly disappeared. His mind was racing.

What should he tell James? The truth? Or what Remus really thought?

"Weird. Let's go." James said, snapping Remus out of his trance. He noticed that James seemed to have returned to normal. Remus guessed that James probably thought something funny was going on with the mirror's magic.

Remus turned to go, but not before he saw the inscription carved of the mirror frame: _Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohshi._

Remus didn't recognize the language, but something caught his eye. _Erised, _Remus thought. So why in the world did that word seem familiar?

* * *

Remus turned this thought over in his mind as he watched Sirius and James play-duel.

He tore his eyes away from his lap to watch as James leaped out of the way to avoid Sirius's stinging hex. He landed in the window curtains, which Remus now noticed where humming quietly. Peter's eyes widened as he curtains started shaking. One black bug came shooting out of the folds.

"Doxys! Run, they're poisonous!" Peter shouted, his words echoing around the room.

The boys sprang to their feet and flat-out sprinted to the door, bounding over rows and rows of books. The buzzing of the Doxys grew louder and louder as they hurled towards the door. Peter whipped the door open and let them out before slamming it shut.

James looked around at them with wide eyes, prompting them all to burst into laugher.

"I am extremely disappointed in you, boys. I would have thought better of you." A sharp voice said, piercing their happy mood.

A wand lit, and a face came into view. Professor McGonagall stood in her flannel nightgown, her long braid draped around her shoulder. With a start, Remus recognized a boy standing next to her.

Severus Snape stood with a cunning grin plastered across his face, his arms crossed. He was dressed in a baggy shirt, and fraying pyjama pants that were at least two sizes too big. Snape's greasy black hair came down to his chin, exaggerating his sharp features.

"Mr. Snape was kind enough to tell me that you boys were out wondering tonight. There is no excuse for gallivanting around the halls when you desire. Each of you will receive detention, and twenty-five points will be taken from Gryffindor." McGonagall said, a disapproving tone clear in her voice.

Something clicked in Remus's mind. Of course! Erised was desire spelt backwards. The strange mirror showed you what you want most, not the future. Remus tried not to feel downhearted as the knowledge struck him. He would never escape his wolfish self.

Crestfallen, Remus followed McGonagall up to the Gryffindor common room, cringing as they passed Snape.

"Nice going, Snivellus." James muttered.

Once inside the common room, they collapsed into the armchairs, their minds racing.

"This has to stop happening. I wish that there was some way that we could know where Snape is, so we wouldn't get caught." Sirius said sleepy.

Suddenly, James sat bolt upright in his chair.

"I've got it!"

* * *

**Foreshadowingggg! Haha, I love you guys :) **

**Like this chapter? Leave me a review down below. Thanks to everyone who has already reviewed. I love it when you guys do that :P **

**Any moments in Remus's life that you want to read about? Leave me a request down below. **

**xx**

**bandeall**


	14. The Stag, the dog, and the rat

"Okay, so, the book says that once you drink the potion, you just need to focus in on your most important personality trait. I think that's what makes you change." Remus said, tapping his wand impatiently on the fragile paper. It was so unusual for Remus to harm books, even if he didn't mean to, that it gave off a clear signal of how truly stressed he was.

Remus looked up at his audience, squinting in the dim dungeon light. He paled as he saw his friend's faces.

This was their first attempt to try the Animagus potion, and Remus was extremely worried. They had been preparing for this for three years, but the process was still just as daunting as it had been the first time he had shed his eyes on it. That night, they had waited until Frank had fallen asleep, than left Gryffindor tower and came directly to this dungeon. The Animagus potion had been bubbling away in the dungeon for almost a month; Remus was positive that this dungeon was never used. A thin later of dust covered every surface. If this potion worked, the boys would be full-fledged Animaguses.

James, Peter, and Sirius had just downed a large portion of the purple, chunky potion. Remus had barely had enough liquid for each boy. The potions' book had gone into gruesome deal describing exactly what could go wrong if even a single drop of potion didn't go into their stomachs. Remus subconsciously glanced down at the three empty pitchers, his mind automatically going to the worst-case scenario.

Their faces all had different notions of pain written across them. James had one hand wrapped around his middle, a pained expression contorting his usually pleasant face. He had one hand on the cabinet, supporting himself as his eyebrows furrowed in torment. Sirius had sat on the floor, leaning his back against the wall, letting his curly, black hair rest against the cool bricks that made up the room. He took deep breaths, and his grey eyes jumped from object to object around the room. Peter had curled up in a tight ball, rocking back and forth on the ground. He had one hand clapped over his mouth.

James looked up and caught Remus's tortured expression full in the face. James immediately straightened, attempting to control the pain that flashed across his face as he did so.

"I'll go first. It was my idea to do this, anyway. I just focus on my most important trait, right?" He said, his hazel eyes boring into Remus's blue ones.

Remus nodded, seriously frightened for James's safety. Had he accidentally poisoned his best friends? Where they slowly dying before his own eyes?

James's face twisted, moving as he grinded his teeth in concentration. He twisted his hands into fists, clearly putting every ounce of energy into his transformation. He blinked furiously as words flew into his mind, only taking a second to consider them. It needed to be his most important trait; the trait that shaped his very being. What could it possibly be?

James's eyes flew open in surprise as a word hit him. He barely had time to send a frightened glance at Remus as the transformation started.

It all happened very quickly. Horns sprouted from the very crown of his head, reaching up towards the ceiling. His nose extended, and his ears sprouted outwards. He was forced onto his hands and knees, and the moment his limbs touched the ground, they curled inward and molded into dark hooves. As his legs grew, his back arched. Hair the exact same color as James's developed, his clothes dissolving as the hair took its' place. A frisky tail flicked the air, whipping cool air across Remus's face.

No more than a second had passed, but James had suddenly disappeared and was replaced by a towering stag. The animal lurched backwards, its powerful horns caressing the stones above. It scraped its hooves against the floor, making a loud scratching noise. It suddenly roused, raising its great head in Remus's direction. It would have been a cryptic look, except its familiar hazel eyes bored into Remus's.

Remus guessed that his own face was a mask of alarm. But he was feeling something completely opposite of that emotion.

It had worked! It had truly worked. James was an Animagus. No more long nights spent pouring over spell books and vigorous studying. Not one day would have to be used researching the negative affects of the Animagus potion. Not even a single moment would have to be wasted watching McGonagall transform. It would all be over. This magic was supposed to be extremely challenging, no doubt mentally unsound, and they, gangly fifth-years, had done it. Even mature wizards and witches couldn't usually do things like this.

Remus's mind jumped to the next thing. They could run with him in wolfish form! He wouldn't have to worry himself sick over their reaction when he came back scratched and broken. His tired and overworked mind didn't even consider that they would soon be exposed to his true danger, and that they would see him when he was truly out of his own sane mind.

The stag tilted its head, giving Remus an expression that was so perfectly James-like that Remus had no choice but to burst into laughter. He had never seen any animal look so humanly disapproving as the stag that was in front of his quivering feet.

Sirius had gotten to his feet, an amazed look clear on his face. The stag stared at him intently, but stopped as it began to shrink. The Animagus transformation reversed, scrunching James's features back into proportion.

James stood, dumbstruck. His glasses were askew, his brown hair tangled beyond comparison.

"Moony," James breathed. (The Marauders had recently begun calling Remus this- Remus always hushed them when they called him this in public, but secretly liked that they had accepted his 'furry little problem'. He was still waiting for the running-and-screaming part, but that fear had begun to disintegrate.)

"What was your trait?" Remus asked, struck with the amazement of the situation.

James blushed scarlet, and he reached up to ruffle his hair.

"Protective. Er, protectiveness." James said, shuffling his feet.

Remus couldn't argue with this. James was very protective with the things he loved; his Quidditch broom, his glasses, even Lily. He had a habit of immediately moving towards Lily when he learned that they needed partners for class; this had cost him many groans and harrumphs from Lily.

"Huh." Remus said, trying to understand this.

"I'll go." Sirius said, apparently rejuvenated from James's success.

Sirius stood up, standing where James had recently made the transformation. He constantly brushed his dark curls out of his face, biting his lip as he focused. After a long moment, the corner of his lip twitched as he recalled a memory.

This transformation happened just as quickly. One moment Sirius stood, his usually joyful expression somber as he thought, and the next, a gigantic, shaggy, black dog that panted vigorously took his place.

It jumped straight up into the air, obviously startled by its new outlook on the world. It barked loudly, than bolted around and around the room. It yipped loudly, pushing its new physical boundaries as it explored the new way.

After a few minutes of this, Remus grew dizzy at the circling motion, and put out a hand to stop Sirius. The dog lurched to a stop, but was practically bouncing as it stood still.

The dog grew again, and suddenly Sirius took its place.

"That was amazing," Sirius said, shaking his head. "My mind feels so much simpler-it's like not even having to think about anything clearly. I was thinking of my two words; impulsive and loyal, and I was trying to decide and then it just happened."

"Really?" Peter's voice said, meek and quiet.

Remus had all but forgotten Peter's presence, as it seemed Peter had been curled up in pain and hadn't wanted to be disturbed.

"Yeah, mate. It was crazy." Sirius said to Peter, sounding dazed.

"I want to try." Peter said, hauling to his feet and padding over to where they where standing.

Peter's transformation was the fastest, and Remus suspected that Peter had already decided on his word.

Peter's body didn't automatically morph, like Sirius and James's had. It simply shrunk, but began to change as he got smaller and smaller. Peter had changed into a rat.

The rat squeaked loudly, seemingly trying to get their attention. They knelt, staring in fascination as Peter scampered around the room. He was barely bigger than the stones that made up the floor.

They froze as they heard the wheezing chuckle of Pringle, the caretaker. Peter yelped, than grew back to normal size as they dove for the secret tunnel that James had discovered. They hit the dungeon floor with vigor, stumbling and tripping as they shot down the tunnel, laughing the entire time.

* * *

They were spit out of the tunnel by the Charms room, and they giggled as they tumbled towards the Gryffindor common room. Remus was amazed that they weren't caught, but he knew that Pringle was on the other side of the castle, miles away.

"Asphodel," James coughed out, snorting as the Fat Lady grunted loudly. She swung forward, letting them proceed into the common room.

There was only one person in the common room, and once James saw who that was, his face broke into a large grin.

The girl looked up, grimacing as she saw them barely containing their frenzied laughter.

"I don't even want to know." Lily said, turning her face towards a piece of parchment. This wasn't the first time she had seen them, late at night, stumble in through the portrait hole, laughing hysterically. She had gotten somewhat used to it.

"Hey, Evans, what are you working on?" James said, causing Lily to turn angrily in her seat. She brushed her hair back, scowling at James.

"I was trying to work on my essay, Potter, until you interrupted me." Lily said, making it very clear in her voice that she would like to resume working.

"I finished that ages ago. Want me to help you?" James said, trying to persuade Lily. Remus, however, knew that James hadn't even written the first word of this essay, and that Lily would probably need to help him. Not that James would ever admit this, though.

"No. Go away." Lily said, trying to make her voice menacing. It would have worked quite well had she not yawned in the middle.

"Are you sure, Evans? I could help you on Saturday after the Quidditch match. . . No, actually, it'll have to be Sunday because I'll win the match and they'll be a party. . .So Sunday?" James said, sounding slightly egotistical.

Lily's eyes hardened. "No. Stop being so arrogant, Potter."

James recoiled, wincing. Remus knew that James knew that he was being rude.

"Just wondering." James said, stepping towards the dormitory. He sounded defeated.

Sirius and Peter followed him, glancing as Remus. Remus watched as they disappeared, the high from their success fading.

"Sorry about that," Lily said, dipping her quill back into the ink.

"It's fine." Remus said, exhausted. The warm October air filtering through the window was lulling him quietly to sleep.

"He just makes me so irritated sometimes with his showing off," Lily said, sighing.

"Who doesn't he irritate in some point of time, honestly?" Remus said, yawning.

Lily chuckled, but sounded just as tired as Remus.

"I'm going to go up, alright?" Remus said, knowing that he would rather fall asleep in his own bed than the couch. He was already beginning to feel the soreness of pre-transformation, and knew that the knots he would get in his back from the couch wouldn't help.

Lily nodded, bending down over her paper, scribbling furiously.

Remus walked up the marble staircase, not even bothering to change his clothes before falling into bed.

He was drifting towards dreamland when a sudden thought struck him. A simple question that his tired mind had missed popped into his head.

What had Peter's word been?

* * *

**How do you guys feel about Jily fluff? They do get together in 7th year, so it's soon. There are a few key moments in their relationship that are coming up, so... How do you feel about some fluff? Let me know down below!**

**Like this chapter? Leave me a review down below! Thanks to everyone who has already reviewed- I love it when you guys do that :)**

**Any moments of Remus's life that you want to read about? Leave me requests down below! Thanks to Moony1972 for giving me some! I plan to use all of them :P**

**xx**

**bandeall**


	15. The Mismatched Pack

"Are you sure you want to do this? It's not to late . . ." Remus said, more to himself than the group before him.

He felt positively sick with worry. _This was a horrible idea,_ Remus thought. Oh, why had he allowed them to do this? What if he hurt them? What if he killed them?

"Don't be a prat, Remus. This is going to be amazing." James said, his eyes gleaming with excitement. This worried Remus more than the actual feat that they were about to attempt. Why were they excited to do this? Anyone in their right mind should be terrified of this.

Remus watched the fire dance, reflecting off the common room windows. Darkness was falling rapidly, and all of the other Gryffindors were at dinner. Every bit of Remus's body ached, leaving him with a pounding headache and a monstrous appetite. He knew that he should be going down to the Whomping Willow by now, but he couldn't make himself go without knowing that James, Sirius, and Peter would be following him.

Tonight would be Remus's transformation, and it would also be the first time that the Marauders would be accompanying him in their animal forms. He had tried to convince them not to follow him the entire day, but they had refused with brute stubbornness. They were determined to witness this, no matter the fact that the Shrieking Shack could quite possibly be their deathbeds if even one thing went wrong.

"Please, please don't come with me. I'm begging you." Remus said, getting up from his chair. As much as he didn't want to, he knew that transforming in the common room would be far worse than his friends coming with him.

Sirius turned away from Remus, a smug expression on his face. Remus had the stinking feeling that they would be following no matter what. There was simply nothing he could do to stop them.

He was almost to the portrait hole when James spoke.

"Oh, Remus, how will we know when you're in wolf form?" He said, not looking at Remus.

Remus turned, his face darkening.

"Oh, you'll know. I'll stop screaming." He said, infusing as much coldness into his voice as possible. He was secretly hoping to scare them so badly that they wouldn't come.

With that, he stepped through the portrait hole, but not before he heard the involuntary gasp.

* * *

Just as Remus had suspected, they were following him. There seemed to be no way to shake them off. He realized how stupid he had been by wasting time; he had barely twenty minutes before the transformation was due to start.

Remus walked briskly across the grounds, his eyes on the setting sun. The stars had already begun to poke through the dark sky.

He got onto his stomach, sliding into the dank tunnel. As he did so, Remus caught a glimpse of the rest of the Marauders perched on the bottom step leading out from the castle, their faces staring into the tree.

With a thud, Remus landed ungracefully on the wooden floor. He picked himself up off the floor and began his usual transformation routine. He removed his clothes, folding them into a neat pile and shoving them into the tunnel were his wolfish self couldn't reach. As he did so, the glint of his prefect badge reminded him how bad of an idea this was. He was supposed to be responsible. Isn't that why Dumbledore had made him prefect? So he could keep James, Peter, and Sirius out of trouble?

He sat in the main room, his mind wandering as he anxiously waited. He locked himself in the room, but he knew that while wolfish, he was powerful enough to knock down the doors with just the touch of his paw. It was useless.

The small, dark room was quickly thrown into moonlight.

Remus took a deep breath as it began. His heart beat erratically, pounding in his ears. His vision focused, and he could suddenly hear every rustle from the woods. He smelled something vaguely meaty, but quickly lost interest as he smelt something delicious very close outside. Remus's sharpened mind made the immediate connection. Having the Marauders here had been a mistake.

His body began to change. His feet and hands extended, stretching painfully as his rising back forced him onto his hands and knees. His nose grew, sprouting with thick, coarse hair. Remus's mind imploded with pronounced pain, making him let out an involuntary scream. He tipped back his head, and this time, a long howl erupted from his throat. His mind went pleasantly blank.

* * *

The wolf panted, observing the new animals. It had ever seen anything like them.

The stag, the dog, and the rat were perched in the very corner of the room, regarding the wolf with a strangely pitying looks. The largest of the group, the stag, was in the front, its hazel eyes strong and determined. Beside it, a shaggy, black dog stood, cocking its head. In-between them, a tiny rat was balanced on a uprooted piece of wood, quivering.

The wolf had been particularly surprised to see new creatures in its presence. It had been at the base of the strange prison, going to work on the tall ceilings, when it had heard noises at the entrance, accompanied by a strange smell. It had decided that this disturbance was more important than pulling out the wall paneling. It had run down the long hallways, the strange smell growing in concentration was it got closer. It had come to find this strange sight in the main room.

These strange things had the most curious scent the wolf had ever smelt. Normally, the wolf was tempted by the overpowering scent of the woods, and whatever smells were being omitted by the village. These beasts were on the brink. They smelled so delicious that the wolf could only guess that this was real food, the kind of food that it should be hunting to the ends of the earth. But they were also clean, giving off a fresh scent, and just enough of it to slightly overpower the meaty smell.

The wolf was confused. Was this food? Or was this company?

The stag made to take a step forward, but was immediately cut off by the dog. The dog moved its head back and forth, shaking its long whiskers. What was it doing?

The wolf stared at them apprehensively. What was going on?

The stag took another step, and this time, it wasn't stopped by the dog. It made towards the door, keeping a strange form of eye contact with the wolf. Its great flank disappeared behind the door. The wolf tensed; it didn't like not being able to see the great animal. Instinctively, it made the mental decision that this unusual pack of mismatched animals wouldn't be a threat. Somehow, it knew that these things were friends, not enemies.

The rat followed in suit. With a beckoning nudge of the head, the dog gestured for the wolf to follow. The wolf took a small step forward, waiting to check up on the stag. It passed the dog, which jogged quietly behind it as it ran.

The wolf found the stag in the last room, where the wolf had previously had been working on knocking down the wall without success. The stag stood protectively by the doorway, watching as the wolf went back to work on the barrier. The wolf went back to the wall, observing the animals as it worked.

* * *

Remus blinked, groaning as the blazing sun burned his eyes. He was in the hospital wing, surrounded by a thin curtain. With a start, he sat up. The events of the last night came rushing back to him, along with the vague feeling of calmness and safety.

He was shocked to realize that sitting up hadn't hurt him. For the first time, Remus didn't have a massive scratch or broken bone. Except for a tiny cut on his nose, he was good as new. He, somehow, hadn't attacked himself. Did this mean that he had fought the others?

Remus reached out, whipping the curtain back to peer out. The rest of the hospital wing was empty, the stark white beds unused and clean. He didn't see a person in sight.

"Madam Pomfrey?" He called, fear filling his stomach. Where were they?

"Coming, Remus!" Madam Pomfrey called for her office.

She bustled out, followed by three ducked heads. A familiar head of sloppy, black hair lead the pack.

"These three have been outside my door since dawn. They have been insisting to see you, but I made them wait until you woke up." Madam Pomfrey said, pointing at James, Sirius, and Peter.

"Alright, thanks." Remus said, wanting to get rid of Madam Pomfrey as soon as possible so the boys could speak. From the looks of it, none of the boys had been even scratched.

Madam Pomfrey left, giving them a disapproving glance as she did so.

"What happened?" Remus said immediately after she was out of earshot.

James whistled, leaning back as he recalled the memory. Peter and James sat on the bed next to Remus, while Sirius sat directly on Remus's bed. All three looked disheveled, but positively bursting with excitement. Peter looked as though he might wet his pants.

"Well, er, we waited 'till you stopped screaming, like you said, and then we transformed and came down the tunnel to meet up with you. We waited for you in the main room, and you just kinda came up to us and watched us for a little bit. You looked like you wanted to attack us, but for some reason, you didn't. James left the room, but I followed behind you just in case you decided to bolt. You lead us to this room, and you just started tearing down this wall. We didn't know what to do, so we just waited until the sun rose. When the sun did rise, you just, um, kind of collapsed, so we waited until we saw Madam Pomfrey coming down before we transformed back and left. We came straight here to wait until you woke up." Sirius said, glancing up at Remus every so often in case something in the story startled him.

Remus fell back in his pillows, astonished. How had this happened? He hadn't even touched them. Why hadn't he? Remus knew how extremely violent he could be while wolfish.

"I never hurt you?" Remus asked, wanting to clarify.

"Never. You didn't even come near us." James said, nodding vigorously.

Remus shook his head, amazed. Could this really work?

But they had just answered that very question. It truly could. Everything would be alright.

* * *

**Like this chapter? Leave me a review down below. Thank you to everyone who has already reviewed! I swear, I have the best viewers in the world :) **

**Any moments in Remus's life that you want to read about? Leave me a review down below telling me what it is. **

**Next update will be soonish. Within the next week, at the every latest. And, there will be some Jily (James and Lily) fluff in the next chapter! YAYYY!**

**xxx**

**bandeall**


	16. The Doe

"Now, there is a chance that this enchantment will be in your Defense Against the Dark Arts' O.W.L's, so we will be tackling this charm today. The Patronus charm is highly advanced magic, and I don't expect many of you will be able to perform this. If anyone does manage to do this, it will most likely be non-coperal, and more of a mist than an animal." Professor Vividian said, looking out at them to make sure that they were paying attention.

"This charm is used for dementors. When performed correctly, it will create a shield between you and the dementor. The dementor will be unable to invade your mind. To do this, you must think of a happy memory. Try to recall the happiest you have ever been in your entire life, and if you can do so, focus all of your attention to this thought. If you do all of this accurately, there is a chance that your Patronus may appear. Each Patronus's shape is unique to the wizard. You will need this spell. Please repeat it after me. _Expecto patronum!_"

Remus whispered the spell incantation under this breath. The other fifth-years were doing similar things.

It seemed, to the fifth-years, that O.W.L.s were the only thing teachers wanted to talk about. It was only December, but they were already prepping. Homework loads had increased, and so had the difficulty. Nights were filled with loud complaining as everyone did their homework.

Professor Vividian clapped, drawing attention back to her. "Alright, then. Please spread yourselves out." She retreated to the back of the classroom.

The desks had been pushed back, leaving the classroom open and spacious. They each took their spots, staring at the stone floor as they concentrated.

Remus thought back, recalling many years of troublemaking. His mind settled on one specific memory, and he smiled briefly as he relived it.

He let the memory of James, Sirius and Peter fill his mind. Remus remembered them, beautifully majestic, in their animal forms, and the feeling he had had when he had realized that he wouldn't be alone during transformations anymore. With the lighthearted mood flooding his mind, he waved his wand and muttered, "_Expecto Patronum!_"

A silvery, white gas poured from his wand, but quickly disappeared as Remus's concentration faltered in his surprise. Remus suspected that memory may have been tainted by worry, not overall happiness. Disappointed, Remus waved his wand over and over, but nothing happened.

Next to him, James was mumbled the charm, waving his wand. In his frustration, James looked up at Lily, who was having great difficultly maneuvering her wand hand. James grinned, chuckling at her exasperated face.

Still laughing quietly, James flicked his wrist sharply and spoke the enchantment aloud.

Abruptly, a thick cloud of shimmering, grey gas took form, growing in size as James realized what was happening, and concentrated even harder. The gleaming substance kept pouring from his wand, and the cloud of gas twisted and morphed as it began to take shape. A head structure appeared, with long tunnels of silver coiling towards the ceiling. A torso took shape, and streaks of glittering grey twirled downwards, looking more and more solid as the legs formed.

The stag looked up nimbly, gracefully stepping forward. It looked as though Lily had sparked James's Patronus. James watched the stag in wonder, sneaking a glance at Remus. Remus couldn't say that he was surprised. He had read about Patronuses, and they too took the shape of your true spirit. It seemed as though James was a stag through and through.

Across the room, Lily looked on in frustration, gritting her teeth at James's success.

On James's other side, Peter was staring at the Patronus as it galloped around the room, than burst into a glittering fog. Peter gasped in wonder, his excitement threatening to overflow.

Sirius stared dazedly after the stag, than back at James.

"Nice job, mate." Sirius said, than turned back to his own spell. It seemed that none of the Marauders were truly surprised at the form of James's Patronus.

Remus settled on a new memory. Dumbledore's words filled his mind. He could come to Hogwarts! He was a wizard. He would have friends!

"_Expecto Patronum!" _Remus said, watching excitedly as white mist poured from the tip of his wand.

A large animal formed before his eyes. A muzzle, the outline of two canine eyes took place. With a shock of dread, Remus recognized what animal was solidifying. He jolted his wand upwards, cutting off the memory. The silvery wolf disappeared.

Remus looked up, hoping frantically that no one had seen the beginning of his misty Patronus. He locked eyes with Lily, who was watching him with her head cocked to the side. Her eyes were squinted ever so slightly, making Remus squirm. She gave him a half-smile, than looked away. She had clearly seen every moment of Remus's struggle.

What had just happened?

* * *

"You know, Evans, it might help if you focused on _happy _memories." James said, snickering.

"They are happy, Potter. Butt out." Lily said menacingly, looking at James in frustration.

James let out a wild cry of laughter, chortling at Lily's irritated expression. She scowled at him, causing him to go into another fit of giggles.

"_Expecto Patronum!" _Lily said, smiling as a thin band of white smoke issued from her wand. It hung in the air for a few moments, but seemingly evaporated as Lily lost her train of thought.

James, Remus and Lily were the Gryffindor common room. All of the other Gryffindors had gone up the dormitories, but they had remained. Remus was doing his Astronomy homework, (he had missed that class due to transformation), and was helping Lily attempt the Patronus charm. As the sun had slipped below the horizon, Lily had gotten more and more cross.

Lily had been positively seething with frustration, and was determined to master the spell. Just as Remus had suspected, Lily was also not happy that James had done it before she had. But, James being James, had decided that watching and supposedly helping Lily was far more interesting than going to bed.

Behind Remus, Lily and James were squabbling loudly. Remus looked back down at his book, trying to tune out James and Lily's arguing. But, try as he may, Remus found that even the Giant Wars could not distract him from their constant bickering. Sighing, Remus set his book down with a loud thump, and turned in his chair to watch them.

"You see, Evans, you got to really flick your wrist," James said, demonstrating by grabbing Lily's wrist and whisking it sharply.

Lily looked extremely irritated, and was clearly fed-up with James's 'helpfulness'. She glared at James, who was grinning at her. James was unquestionably using this opportunity to his advantage, as would keep doing so until she got it. These were the moments when James's stubbornness played to his benefit. He looked positively giddy with his new achievement.

"I _know, _Potter." Lily said, yanking her wrist out of James's grasp. James was radiating happiness.

"Let me show you." James said, whipping out his own wand. Lily crossed her arms over her chest, and looked at James reproachfully.

James spoke the charm, confidently grinning. A stream of silvery mist quickly took place, even more solid than it had been in the afternoon. The stag stood tall, than cantered around the room.

Lily looked even more vexed than she had previously. It wasn't hard to tell what she was thinking. Frustrated, she withdrew her wand, and, while maintaining full eye contact with James, muttered, "_Expecto Patronum!" _

With a gasp, Lily leapt backwards, her grip on her wand strengthening. Silvery fog poured out from her wand, building a creature as it went.

One lean, proportioned head appeared, having been made from the whirling haze. Four spiraling columns of mist formed legs, while a large cloud of the stuff morphed into a torso shape. Two soft ears materialized, adding a gentle touch to the animal.

The doe looked up at Lily, its big, graceful eyes observing the onlookers. With a backwards glance, the doe darted around the common room, finally disappearing into a cloud of silvery mist.

Remus was dumbstruck. While he had read about the difficultly that came with producing the Patronus charm, he had also read about this occurrence.

Two people having matching Patronus, or the male and female versions of them, were extremely rare. The book at noted that only an extreme form of love could change Patronuses, because they are derived from happy memories. The kind of love only reported from true soul mates. But Remus would have never guessed at Lily and James would be matching. What did this mean for their future?

James's mouth had fallen open, leaving him with a completely idiotic expression. Remus knew how very clever James was, and knew that James probably had a good idea of what this meant.

Lily stood speechless, staring at the spot where her Patronus had just dissolved. Her beautiful emerald eyes searched the empty spot blindly, as if begging for an explanation.

"Lils, we match." James said softly.

Lily turned to face James, eyes wide. Remus knew that Lily knew what this probably meant, too.

Lily turned on her heel, and quickly walked up to the girls' dormitory without another word. James made to follow her, but the moment he placed his foot on the step, it morphed, making it impossible to climb.

James looked wordlessly at Remus, unspoken questions polluting the silence.

"I don't know." Remus lied, blushing scarlet as he acknowledged the fib.

James turned, collapsing into a plush chair in front of the fire. His hazel eyes were filled with confusion.

But, in truth, Remus knew that there was truly nothing to be confused about. It seemed that James might it his wish, after all.

* * *

**See what just happened? James was thinking about Lily, and his Patronus happened, and than when Lily was thinking about James, her Patronus worked! Ah, how I love Jily :)**

**Like this chapter? Leave me a review down below. Thanks to everyone who as previously reviewed! I seriously love you guys :) You make my day every single time I get a new review, I swear. **

**Any moments in Remus's life that you would like to read about? Tell me in a review. Thank you to everyone who has left me suggestions! I plan to use all of them. **

**There is an EXTREMELY important chapter next, so don't forget to read it :P **

**xx**

**bandeall**


	17. Sirius's Revenge

"Ready to go?" Remus said, standing in the hallway. Sirius had a mischievous grin plastered across his face, assuring Remus that he was up to no good. Remus could only hope that this unruliness would take place after his transformation.

They were in the Great Hall, waiting for the sun to set. Tonight was Remus's transformation, and they were completing all of the usual safety precautions. While they waited, the other students were feasting, the sound of clanking and clattering dishes ringing though the castle.

Remus had just decided that it was time to go, for the first few stars were beginning to spot the orange-pink sky. Peter nodded, and with that, Remus took off towards the Whomping Willow.

Remus, in an unusually good mood, walked briskly, and slipped down the tunnel in record time. He took his security measures, but didn't bother to block the entrance. He knew that the rest of the Marauders would be coming down soon, and he knew that his wolfish self wouldn't be able to wiggle up the slim passageway.

Once his clothes and wand were safely tucked away, Remus sat on the paneled wood, tracing his finger over the ripped planks. As darkness fell, Remus suddenly heard voices from outside. He could hear every word perfectly, since the opening hadn't been blocked.

"What are you so curious about, Snivellus?" Sirius said, not yet transformed in a dog.

What was happening? Why were they so close to the tree in human form? Why was Snape with them?

Remus felt hot fear pound in his ears. _Get away from the tree, _he thought to himself, wishing he could mentally communicate with them. He knew that they wouldn't be able to hear him if he spoke, though. The spells placed on the tree blocked most of the sounds, with only the howls and sharp screams breaking the barrier. His frail voice wouldn't escape the shack. He was practically mute, and was trapped. He couldn't tell them to leave.

Moonlight filtered in through the trees, making Remus inhale sharply. He fell forward onto his knees, his heart beating loudly. His body suddenly sprouted thick, brown hair, and his nose extended to a rounded point. His torso grew, widening with enlarged muscles. He heard the last whispers of their converstation, still human enough to feel extreme fright.

"I'm going into the tunnel, just like you told me." Snape said, his voice getting closer and closer to the tree.

James's frantic voice rang out, too shocked to question Sirius. "What? No! Don't go in there!"

Remus's mind went blank.

"You can't stop me. I'd like to see you try." Snape sneered, his shadowing obscuring the patch of moonlight. A low howl broke the tension. The boys stared in horror at the tunnel. Snape leaned forward to look in.

"NO!" Sirius and James cried in unison. James lunged for Snape, his hazel eyes gigantic with fear.

* * *

Remus gradually regained consciousness, his mind already buzzing with alertness. The morning sun peeked through the overcast sky, bathing the hospital wing in gray light. Remus blinked furiously, noticing immediately that he had an audience.

Peter, James, and Sirius sat expectantly, watch Remus's every move. For a moment, Remus didn't know why, but then the muddled events of the previous night came rushing back to him.

Where was Snape? What had happened? And, most importantly, _how _had this happened?

"What happened? I heard voices, and someone was going to go into the tunnel, but then I blacked out." Remus said groggily.

The boys looked uneasily at each other. Remus noticed that James's arm was strapped into a sling, but was tucked sneakily away into the folds of his robes.

"Sirius told Snape about the tunnel, and Snape thought he'd investigate. He saw us leaving the Great Hall, and followed us. He tried to get into the tunnel, but I pulled him out of it before he could get down. He hurt my arm, but you didn't attack him. Snape's okay. He. . . he did see you, though. Dumbledore made him promise to not tell anyone what he saw." James said, trying to make it seem like no big deal.

Everything Remus had worked to protect was broken. He felt as though his friends had betrayed him, trading his precious secret for their own pride and revenge against Snape. He felt unreasonable fury building up inside of him, and fought to control it. It wouldn't do anyone any good.

"Snape deserved it. You should've seen the look on his face." Sirius said, letting out a tiny giggle as he remembered Severus's face.

Something inside Remus snapped. Every single angry and selfish thought he had fought to restrain for so many years suddenly burst free. He had kept every inconsiderate feeling inside since the very day he was bitten; his confusion, his guilt for being bit, the feeling that he had disappointed his parents. For his parents' sake, he hadn't ever complained, never let them know how much he was really suffering. But he couldn't handle it anymore. His barricades exploded. The resentful words tumbled out of his mouth, imploding into the otherwise lighthearted mood.

"THIS ISN'T FUNNY!" Remus bellowed. His throat felt like it would burst into flames from the strain of it, but he couldn't stop himself from continuing. "SNAPE COULD HAVE DIED! I WOULD HAVE KILLED HIM! I WOULD HAVE BEEN A MURDERER, AND YOU WOULD HAVE PROBABLY LAUGHED! THIS ISN'T A GAME! I COULD SLAUGHTER INNOCENT PEOPLE, AND YOU WOULDN'T CARE!"

Sirius looked taken aback. Remus had always been so calm, so collected. Frankly, Peter looked scared. James spluttered, beginning to speak, but Remus barreled right through his words.

"YOU THINK THIS IS A JOKE! ME, I'M THE ONE WHO HAS TO FACE THE FACT THAT I'LL NEVER BE NORMAL! I CAN NEVER GET MARRIED, I CAN NEVER HAVE CHILDREN! I CAN NEVER HAVE A PROPER LIFE! FOR YOU, IT ENDS IN THE MORNING! YOU HAVE YOUR ENTIRE LIVES AHEAD OF YOU! BUT I CAN NEVER ESCAPE FROM THIS! THE SUN WILL NEVER RISE FOR ME!" Remus roared, his own fury at the truth of his words burning his eyes. He drew in great breaths, shaking from the effort of shouting.

No one said a word. They were all clearly stunned from Remus's bottled-up anger. Remus breathed deeply, guilt rising up from the pit of his stomach. He knew that it wasn't completely their fault, and that it wasn't right that he had yelled at them, but he hadn't been able to take it anymore.

James looked at Remus cautiously, testing to make sure the shouting match was over. It was.

"I'm sorry, Remus. Snape wanted to know about the tunnel, so I told him. I didn't tell him about you, Remus. It served Snape right." Sirius said, half-smiling.

Remus turned away, now feeling the full-blown shame for his outburst. A tiny voice in the back of his mind spoke. While he was extremely angry at himself for almost being Snape's murderer, he was also disappointed. He had _liked _their monthly adventures. They had made everything so much more bearable, and Remus hardly ever hurt himself in wolf form anymore. He didn't want them to end.

In a matter of seconds, Remus had an internal argument with himself. While he wanted to continue their animalistic ventures, he also didn't want anyone else to be in danger. Sure, werewolves were predators, but Remus hadn't hurt them in the past, so why would he do so now? Hadn't Sirius told Snape how to get to his tunnel? No one had discovered him on their own. Snape's only true danger was Sirius's impulsive need to one-up him.

Their adventures wouldn't stop. As long as Sirius could keep his head on, they would be safe.

"Sirius- you can never do something like that ever again." Remus said, spinning to face them.

They all nodded frantically, and Remus felt another pang of guilt for scaring them. He was not a normally violent person. His wolfish tendencies hardly ever surfaced.

"Okay. I'm sorry for yelling at you guys." Remus said, smiling sheepishly.

"It's okay. Oh, hey, Remus, did you figure out that spell? I was thinking that we could track everyone for the map by slipping something in to the food at dinner. Since everyone would eat it, a bit of the spell would be in everyone." James said, rummaging around in his book bag.

The boys had been combing the library for tracking spells, looking for something to help them make the map. They wanted to make a map, one that would let them see everyone's location at all times. This would make sneaking around much, much easier. James was particularly set on putting something into the food.

"Nah, the house-elves wouldn't let us taint their food. And anyway, don't talk about here. I'll tell you my idea once we get to the common room." Remus said, glad that Madam Pomfrey was away at breakfast.

Remus was going to suggest putting the Homonculous Charm on the map, once they made it. The enchantment would allow the beholder of the map to see every single person in the mapped area, unfiltered by any transformation spells, potions, or a certain Invisibility cloak.

* * *

**I told you that this was important! The hate between Sirius and Snape begins... Also, I hope you guys don't mind that Remus lost it for a moment. He's only human (wait, is he? whatever, you get the point, werewolf or not), and nobody can keep their cool forever, and we know from the Deathly Hallows that even calm Remus has his temper slip-ups sometimes. I just think that Remus had had his feelings pent-up for too long, and he was bound to explode sometime. All in good reason, though. And yes, at the end, they are talking about the Marauder's Map. **

**Like this chapter? Leave me a review down below. Thank you to everyone who has previously reviewed. I love you guys! **

**Any moments in Remus's life that you would like to read about? Leave me the suggestions in a review or PM me them. Thank you to everyone who has already done this! I plan to use all of them. You guys have good ideas! **

**xx**

**bandeall**


	18. OWLS

Remus rounded the corner, stopping short as he got a good look at the Great Hall.

"Woah," James breathed, his hand unconsciously reaching up to ruffle his hair.

The Great Hall was unrecognizable. The four house tables had disappeared, replaced by hundreds of small desks, all facing forward. Bright sunlight filtered through the windows, casting strangely beautiful shadows across the floors.

Today, they would be having their first day of O.W.L.S'. The warm June air was freely flowing throughout the entrance hall, tempting the fifth-years. It was proving to be a perfect day; blue sky, with white fluffs of cloud skittering over the mountains. Before they had been sent for, Sirius had glared across the hall towards the door, his expression twisting to a particularly longing gaze.

Remus was feeling quite jittery. The Gryffindor Common room had been practically silent for all of last night, with was quite a rare occurrence. The fifth-years had crammed for their Charms exams, with the sound of their quills scratching the paper echoing around the room. Even James had succumbed to the pressing importance of these tests, and had retired to a squishy chair by the fire, Remus's charm notes in hand.

"Please sit!" Professor McGonagall said from the front of the Great Hall.

Remus raced forward, his classmates groaning and grumbling as they settled into their seats. He tapped his fingers impatiently on the table, his mind rushing from one thought to the next. Had he reviewed the Summoning charm enough? He was still having trouble with his aim.

With a sharp swish of her wand, McGonagall distributed the papers, all of them facedown.

"You may begin," McGonagall said, turning over the ginormous hourglass that had been placed on her desk.

Remus flipped over his paper, nervousness flooding his stomach. As he took a deep breath, Remus turned his head in time to see Peter glance at his test, looking as though he was worried it might bite him. As small laugh escaped his mouth, Remus curved over his paper, reading the first question: _a) Give the charm needed to change the colour of a particular object. _Remus remembered Sirius's wand, deft and quick, making Snapes's robes a disgusting shade of yellow. He started to write, his quill guiding his hand across the paper.

* * *

Over the next four days, the fifth-years had many exams, all extremely tiresome. Each night, Remus would fall into bed, exhausted from the day's work, only to wake up only a few short hours later. Even Lily didn't have the energy to snap at James when he tried to help her study.

On Friday morning, Remus woke up feeling strangely refreshed, given the five hours of sleep he had managed to acquire. Frank Longbottom had had to physically pull Peter from his bed, earning a loud chorus of laughter. They walked to breakfast, all discussing what they were going to do tomorrow, when they were finally free from O.W.L.S. Today they had Defense Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration.

Soon, they found themselves in entrance hall once more, waiting for their own name to be called so they could enter. Remus swept over his Defense Against the Dark Arts notes, murmuring incantations and gesturing wand movements into the air. Peter fiddled with his tie, folding it inward as he tried to distract himself. Sirius wasn't trying to study, or distract himself. He was trying to make eye contact with a pretty Hufflepuff girl, and kept brushing his curly hair behind his ears. He grinned at her, but earned only a scowl in return. James, of course, was throwing hopeful glances at Lily, adjusting his glasses and messing up his hair.

People silently slipped into the Great Hall, maintaining the tense atmosphere. Sirius had left with "Bones, Edgar" and "Higgins, Robin", and the teachers were waving more and more people forward.

With five minutes, every student was seated in the Great Hall, and the Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L.S' were distributed.

Remus watched as Professor Flitwick signaled for them to begin, and immediately bent over to flip his paper over. He read:

DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS-

ORDINARY WIZARDING LEVEL

Quickly, Remus dipped the point of his quill into the dark ink, and poised to write. His eyes scanned the first question, and with a grin, he began to scribble . . .

* * *

"Five more minutes!" Professor Flitwick called, dazing Remus. Remus's hand was cramped, but he kept writing. The two-hour exam was finally ending. Once Remus was satisfied with his last answer, he looked up.

A few rows in front of Remus, James yawned and tousled his hair, making it monstrously untidy. He turned, giving Sirius a mischievous grin and a thumbs-up. Sirius was clearly done; tilting his chair back and watching them work. Behind Sirius, the Hufflepuff girl he had tried to impress was eying him optimistically, watching him shake his dark hair out of his face. Peter was even farther back, shuffling around and staring at his paper, clearly anxious.

Five seats in front of him, James had pulled out a piece of parchment, and was now doodling, his brow furrowed as he sketched. Remus lowered his face again, lifting his quill and scratching his chin, rereading his replies.

"Quills down, please!" Flitwick announced. "That means you too, Stebbins! Please remain seated while I collect your parchment! _Accio!_"

Hundreds of exams shot towards Flitwick, knocking him over as they flew into his outstretched arms. James let out a roar of laughter. The front row of students got up to help Flitwick, and once he had surfaced from the papers, Flitwick spoke.

"Thank you . . .thank you. Very well, everybody, you're free to go!" He said, releasing them.

They all got to their feet, jamming quills and parchment into their bags. They clamored towards the door, pushing towards the grounds where the bright sunshine was. Remus met up with James, Peter, and Sirius as they walked towards the entrance hall.

"Did you like question ten, Moony?" Sirius said, shooting Remus a grin as they left the Great Hall.

"Loved it. 'Give five signs that identify the werewolf.' Excellent question." Remus said swiftly.

"D'you think you managed to get all the signs?" James said, bringing on a voice full of fake worry.

"Think I did," Remus said, dropping his voice as they followed the rest of the group outside. "One: He's sitting in my chair. Two: He's wearing my clothes. Three: His name's Remus Lupin . . ."

Sirius, Remus and James broke into loud guffaws, the physical proof of their happiness ringing around the entrance hall. When they finally caught their breath, Peter looked up at them, a worried expression masking his face.

"I got the snout shape, the pupils of the eyes, and the tufted tail," he said, concerned. "But I couldn't think what else-"

James broke in. "How thick are you, Wormtail? You run 'round with a werewolf once a month-"

This time, it was Remus who was impatient. "Keep your voice down."

Sirius laughed, but kept quiet.

They broke into the bright sunlight, and strode toward the large beech tree by the lake, their bags swinging merrily.

"Well, I thought that paper was a piece of cake," Sirius said confidently. "I'll be surprised if I don't get an Outstanding on it at least."

"Me too," James said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a scuffling Snitch.

"Where'd you get that?" Sirius asked.

"Nicked it," James said, playing with the Snitch. He let the Snitch fly away, but at the last moment, he snatched it right out of the air. Peter watched, his face admiring.

Remus shook his head, than flopped down on the grass beneath the beech tree. He reached into his bag, pulling out his Transfiguration book. They only had two hours before the next exam. Sirius watched the girls run down the lake, stripping off their shoes, and dipping their feet into the cool water. Sirius looked very bored. James was still playing with that annoying Snitch, snickering as Peter clapped excitedly every time he made a tough catch. Every so often, James would upset his hair, and after doing so, would shoot a hopeful glance towards the pod of girls by the lake.

"Put that away, will you?" Sirius said as Peter cheered for James. "Before Wormtail wets himself from excitement."

Peter blushed scarlet, but James beamed.

"If it bothers you." James said, wadding the Snitch back into his robes.

"I'm bored. Wish it was the full moon." Sirius said, causing Remus to painfully snap his head up.

"You might," Remus said sullenly from below his book. "We've still got Transfiguration, if you're bored you could test me . . . Here." Remus held his book towards Sirius.

"I don't need to look at that rubbish, I know it all." Sirius said, snorting.

"This'll liven you up, Padfoot," said James, a devious look on his face. "Look who it is . . ."

Sirius froze, twisting to get a look. His mouth morphed into a smile.

"Excellent. Snivellus." Sirius said darkly.

Remus glanced up from his book, watching as Snape strode toward the castle. Once Snape was out of the shadows, James and Sirius stood up. Remus stayed firmly planted to the ground. He had absolutely no desire to get involved in this. He frowned, and stopped reading, trying to focus on James and Sirius. His eyes remained locked on the book.

"All right, Snivellus?" James called, drawing attention to himself.

Snape spun around, whipping out his wand. He knew from experience that he wouldn't have much time to defend himself. His wand was barely drawn when James shouted, "_Expelliarmus!" _

Snape's wand was tossed over his head, far behind his grasp. Sirius laughed, sounding particularly dog-like. Remus's frown deepened. He knew, in his heart, that this wasn't right, but didn't move to stop them.

"_Impedimenta!" _Sirius said, knocking Snape clear off of his feet, sending him in the direction of his fallen wand.

Suddenly, Remus realized that entire groups of students by the lake were now watching. Remus lost all focus, and broke away from his book to shoot a glance at Lily, whose face now matched the shade of her hair perfectly. She cocked her head at Remus, as if daring him to do something. He looked away.

Snape lay gasping, while Sirius and James marched towards him, triumphant grins on their faces. James, stupidly, was watching Lily over his shoulder. He didn't seem to notice her extreme anger. Peter jumped to his feet, inching towards the boys.

"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" James said manically.

"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment." Snape said, grinning evilly. At that moment, Remus felt a shock of fear towards Sirius. "There'll be grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word."

All around him, people laughed at Snape. Snape struggled to get to his feet, but the curse forced him onto the ground.

"You-wait. You- wait." Snape panted, giving James a look of pure hatred.

"Wait for what? What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?"

Snape swore viciously.

"Wash out your mouth," James said frostily. "_Scourgify!" _

Snape choked on large, pink bubbles. The foam was covering his mouth and nose, making him gag. Remus felt a pang of guilt radiate from his gut. Why was he getting his friends do this? Sure, Snape deserved it, but at this measure?

"Leave him ALONE!" A sharp voice rang out.

Immediately, James and Sirius whipped around. Once James identified the face, his hands reached towards his unruly hair.

It seemed as though Lily hadn't been able to watch this torture anymore. Her green eyes were exploding with displeasure, narrowing as she watched James comb his hair unsuccessfully. Her thick red hair brushed her shoulders as she approached.

"All right, Evans?" James said, his voice dropping. His voice rang with maturity and pleasantness.

"Leave him alone." Lily said, staring up at James. "What's he done to you?"

"Well," James said, clearly searching for the right words to examine his view of things. "It's more the fact that he _exists_, if you know what I mean . . ."

Remus's eyes shot down towards his book. Cold laughter sounded, but Lily didn't join in.

"You think you're funny," Lily said, her voice practically dripping with dislike. "But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him _alone._"

"I will if you go out with me, Evans." James said briskly. "Go on. . . Go out with me, and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."

Unknowing to James, Snape was inching towards his wand, retching up froth as he did so.

"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid." Lily spat at James.

Sirius rebounded quickly. "Bad luck, Prongs." Sirius spun to face Snape. "OY!"

But Sirius was too unobservant, too caught up in the argument. Remus looked up in time to see Snapes's wand emit a flash of red light, one that raced towards James. A long slash appeared on James's cheek, spraying his robes with his own blood. James reacted quickly, sending another flicker of light towards Snape.

A moment later, Snape was floating upside down in the air, flailing as his robes fell over his head, exposing pale, bony legs and long, grey underpants. The crowd cheered. Remus did not.

Lily's angry expression morphed for a fraction of a second, the corners of her mouth rising slightly, but they fell away quickly.

"Let him down!" She called.

"Certainly," James said, whisking his wand up with a sideways smile directed at Lily. Snape plummeted to the Earth, but collected himself and was on his feet within seconds.

"_Locomotormortis!" _Sirius said, too fast for Snape. Snape kneeled over, stiff and unyielding.

Lily raised her own wand. "LEAVE HIM ALONE!" She said, causing Sirius and James to watch her wand carefully. Lily had a reputation of being extremely talented at hexes.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you." James said sincerely.

"Take the curse off him, then!" Lily insisted.

James sighed, than turned to Snape and performed to countercurse.

"There you go." He said to a struggling Snape. "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus-''

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!" Snape said, anger rising in his voice.

Lily's expression hardened. "Fine. I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash my pants if I were you, _Snivellus._"

Remus was shocked. Lily, of all people, was the most opposed to Snape's nickname. But it seemed she had met her breaking point.

"Apologize to Evans!" James bellowed at Snape, wand pointed directly at his chest.

"I don't want _you _to make him apologize." Lily shouted, turning on her heel, now attacking James. "You're just as bad as he is!"

James looked shocked. "What?" He shrieked. "I'd NEVER call you a – you-know-what!"

Lily snapped. "Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can- I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK." With that, she stalked off.

"Evans!" James called after her. "Hey, EVANS!"

She didn't respond, though Remus was positive that she heard James.

"What is it with her?" James said, clearly distraught with Lily's outburst. He looked truly upset.

"Reading between the lines, I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited, mate." Sirius said forgivingly.

"Right." James said, anger creeping back into his already flushed face. "Right."

He turned his wand on Snape, and suddenly, Snape was floating in the air once more.

"Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?" James shouted, clearly taking out his anger on Snape.

The crowd cheered. Snape let out a strangled grasp as fingers of light reached towards his waistband.

Remus cringed, burrowing himself deeper and deeper into his book. He felt sick to his stomach. He was practically lying on the ground now, but his attempt to cover his face had worked. His prefect badge jingled against the pages, reminding him of his duties.

Behind his book, the group gulped, and Remus felt hot shame craw up and down his spine.

* * *

Later that day, Remus collapsed into bed. The Transfiguration exam had been extremely difficult, but Remus was fairly certain that he had done well. An Acceptable, at least. But, truthfully, he wanted to go to bed because he felt as though the guilt from that afternoon was eating him alive, and he hadn't spoken to James or Sirius about it.

He was just pulling his scarlet bed sheets around himself when he heard voices in the common room. He shifted, trying to ignore them, but the volume grew as time passed. Sighing, Remus unwillingly pulled himself out of bed, and padded towards the staircase so he could see what was going on. He could at least try to uphold some of his prefect duties.

From his place on the marble staircase, he could see someone standing in the portrait hole, talking to someone outside.

"I'm sorry." A male voice said from outside the portrait hole. The voice was pleading and desperate.

"I'm not interested." Remus recognized that voice as Lily's. With a sharp twinge of remorse, he realized that the other voice belonged to Snape.

"I'm sorry!"

"Save your breath." Lily's voice was cold and unforgiving.

"I only came out here because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here." Lily said, no trace of a lie clear in her voice.

"I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you a Mudblood, it just-"

"Slipped out? It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends- you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't just wait to join You-Know-Who, can you? Lily's voice was sharp.

"I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen you way, I've chosen mine." Lily said.

Remus slipped away from the staircase, wanting to go back to bed. He knew that he shouldn't be listening to this, and he wanted out.

Before he could shut the door to the dormitory, he heard Snape's last apology.

"No-listen, I didn't mean-"

Remus shut the dormitory door with a bang.

* * *

**Okay, while writing this, I seriously had a full on meltdown- I was literally sobbing. While reading this chapter in the book, I don't think I quite grasped how cruel James and Sirius were. As much as I love them as adults, they were truly just as arrogant and rude as Snape said they were. I feel so bad for Snape. But, at the same time, does anyone else just want someone like James in their lives? Like after you scream at them and get super frustrated at them, they love you all the same? I hope I find my James. Anyway, sorry for the rant, I just needed to talk about my little emotional breakdown. I've never gotten over Lily and James's deaths, even though they've literally been dead for the entire series. **

**Like this chapter? Leave me a review down below. Thanks to everyone who has already reviewed! I love you guys so much. **

**Any moments in Remus's life that YOU want to read about? Leave the suggestions in a review or PM me them. Thanks to everyone who has already done so! I'll say it again- I love you guys. **

**Phew, okay, wow. I'm a wreck- James Potter does that to me, haha. **

**xx**

**bandeall **


End file.
